


Scratch and Ball In Hand

by grimBleeper_Arcas_Corricol



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Masturbation, Mentions of Violence, Movie Night, My First Fanfic, Park Scene, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Fantasy, Sloppy Makeouts, shower scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:22:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 40,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4459817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimBleeper_Arcas_Corricol/pseuds/grimBleeper_Arcas_Corricol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dave and Karkat awkwardly (initially) interact with one another, then get to know each other better and then they f**k or something along the lines of that, Rose is Dave’s non-ecto sister in this AU and there will be rosemary, John/Nepeta might be a thing, so many possibilities.<br/>I’m a big fan of other fanfics and if someone accuses me of stealing an idea or blatantly including elements,  it’s because I really like their ideas and find the premise generic enough and I will give props to them if someone tells me to. I’ll try to make a habit of making chapters at least 2000 words each and I’ll probably let you guys know a bit about me in every end note.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Day, Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, I guess this fanfic will be about how I see the characters and their potential relationships and how they interact, this will be a humanstuck AU with shipping and I don’t know if I’ll ever write smut but stay tuned for more. This is my first fanfic so I’m sorry if this doesn’t live up to your standards or if I mess up. I intend for this to be an ongoing series but as I am in Year 11, my schedule might be a bit inconsistent, hopefully it won’t be though as I tend to write these at around 10:00pm to 10:30pm every night.

Groaning, Dave woke to the noise of an alarm blaring next to the side of his head. Turning over, he swept the hair from his face and slammed the side of his fist into the bright red button. He turned back to his preferred sleeping position making sure to position the blanket between his face and the doorway. “Bliss…” he whispered to himself, enjoying the plushness while he could, soon he felt something nudging him in the face and begrudgingly lowered the blanket from his eyes. He was met with a glassy stare, too bright blue eyes and a grin with a single speck of gold in a field of white. Shrieking he flung the puppet through the doorway and closed the door as quickly as he could, shaking and breathing heavily as he shook his head, trying to rid himself of the sickening mental image. “Shit just ain’t right” he muttered to himself as he walked over to the wardrobe, deciding on a rounded double bridged pair of sunglasses, a red and white t-shirt and black skinny jeans before putting them on. Putting his laptop into his bag and his iPhone into his pocket, he opened the door again, looking out for the infernal puppet, now that the coast was clear he calmly walked into the bathroom, making sure not to show any emotion, irony is a demanding mistress after all. Taking care to avoid the stares of the puppets on the floor and in the wallpaper, Dave took hold of the My Little Pony hairbrush and almost delicately put every hair into its rightful place, after a cursory glance up at the mirror he quickly brushed his teeth and went down to the living room, glancing warily at his sides and nimbly dodging pre-prepared puppet traps. God, those things were terrifying.

As he entered the ridiculously bright room, a clear but irritating voice rang out from his side, the tone amused and meticulously honed to perfection “David, I take it that our dearest Bro woke you up in a timely fashion?” Damn her, he could hear he fucking smirk without even having to turn around. “Cal? Nah man, he’s the shit, me and him? We’re like two peas in a pod, two bullets in a mag, two cannibal midgets in a fat guy’s ribcage.” As he walked towards the kitchen, Rose walked with him, “Your standards are slipping, brother dearest, did you really think you could quote Borderlands without my knowledge?” Rose would never admit it but even she liked Dave’s video games even if only just to watch Dave’s balancing act of over-the-top emotion and complete stoicism “What are you talking about, Rose? I’m just making a timely reference so that you, one of my disciples can look up at your senpai and just go sugoi what an amazing reference, hush don’t answer, I know I’m right.” Dave jumped the last few steps to the counter, over a concealed puppet fountain and snagging two pieces of bread before deftly depositing them in the toaster. He pulled out a key and undid the shitty lock on his section of the refrigerator before taking out his glorious ambrosia, his amber delight, his and only HIS apple juice. Taking a swig, Dave tapped at his phone with his other hand, peering down at the screen through the bottom of his sunglasses. Unread Pesterchum messages were always a thing with his friends, they all stayed awake doing god knows what and it wasn’t uncommon for any of them to go without sleep, especially Jade, he would swear that she was a narcoleptic with the way she just fell asleep in class, hell if he knew how she was also a fucking genius as well.

GG: Dave!!!!!

GG: You’re gonna read this the next morning so I’ll cut to the chase

GG: I reckon that you’ll be ready for the year so I won’t need to remind you every year :P

GG: There are going to be new people this year, I’ve already met one of them and he sounds pretty cool, his chumhandle is adiosToreador and you should totally talk to him or something

GG: Anyways, get ready to have fun with school

GG: Also, look out for the trapdoor ;D

He looked up from his phone, immediately noticing the absence of Rose before a hail of puppets descended from the ceiling burying him in the plague of plush rump. Not letting this faze him, he calmly nudged the proboscises and quivering asses out of his way before calmly brushing himself off, this year he would overcome his paranoia about puppets, ironically of course. Settling back into his slouch he saw his Bro and Rose fist bumping, a successful trap laid, a victim had. Looking at the two of them side by side he could see the family resemblance and lamented on why they got lame prank genes. Bro jangled his keys in the air before monotonously saying “Wheels up in five, kid” before Bro had finished Dave had already raced back to his room for his messenger bag, completing the circuit with one last swig of apple juice and his toast back in the kitchen. Rose smirked at him as he sprinted throughout the apartment and Dave followed her down the stairs to the garage where Bro leaned against his ironic white van, “You’re late little man, make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Dave silently flipped him off before sliding the door open and hopping in, Rose got into the driver-side passenger seat and set her bag on her lap, calmly waiting for the proverbial show to get on the road. Bro turned the key and the radio immediately rang out throughout the van, only the most obnoxious Nicki Minaj and Ke$ha would satisfy Bro’s ironic urges, either that or he secretly hated Dave and knew that he would cringe every time, probably the second one.

Throughout the ride, Dave only let the smallest of frowns show on his face, in the rear view mirror he saw Rose once again smirking at him, the flighty broad wasn’t going to get the one up on him, he would be the survivor, so he stared back, daring her to say something, anything that would let him express his irony, to cement his mastery of the ironic ramble. However, she just chuckled and turned to stare out the window contemplatively, her chin resting on her hand. Dave put on his headphones, bobbing his head up and down to distract himself from the lyrical travesty, the bane of humanity. Putting on some Nickelback, Dave sat back to analyse the lyrics, his silent musings only interrupted by Lil Cal who somehow crept to the top of Bro’s seat, cheerily grinning at him over its felt shoulder. As the car slowed to a halt near the drop-off zone, Dave gave a silent salute to Cal as he got out of the car, shrugging the strap of his bag over his shoulder flipping Bro off in the same smooth motion. He turned back just in time to see Rose go around the back of the van, head held high, with eyes staring off into the distance, the siblings walked through the gate before Rose abruptly turned to the direction of the library, leaving Dave alone.

Keeping to the side, Dave walked off to the back of the school, settling down on a bench and leaning against the wall behind him. Teens of various ages walked past him, each in their own conversations, none noteworthy but Dave couldn’t help but hear snippets of each one. “Man, this place sure looks different” “What are you talking about, this shithouse looks the same every time” “How were your holidays?” “Same ol’, same ol’, played video games” “Did you see that new movie with the snow and the princesses?” “Fuck, you finally watched Frozen?” None of this mattered to him however as he softly sang to whatever was playing on his iPhone until the bell rang and he slouched off to homeroom where he took a seat at the back of the class. Dispassionately observing the stream of students and varying cliques, he leaned back against the wall, not attracting any attention to himself. One person separated themselves from the crowd however, a boy with tousled hair, rectangular framed glasses and a perpetual shit-eating grin followed closely by a similarly grinning female, with long thick dark hair and large round glasses.

“Hey Dave, how was the puppet eruption?” asked Jade, bouncing up and down as she pulled up a seat next to Dave, staring his shades and try to find any shred of emotion that she could just pounce on. “Harley, I have no idea what you’re talking about, the plushy asses of the felt gods have turned towards me and this good omen will not go unnoticed, all that’s left is to give my offering of goat’s blood to them so that they may bless me with further divine intervention. You don’t even know half of the glories I’m about to reap because of my dedication to my cause, I’m the cultist, it’s me.” Dave snarked unemotionally, if Jade wanted to get anything out of him, she was going to have to work for it. “Heheh, Dave you’re so silly, sometimes I wonder if half the things you say are true but I don’t understand your irony either so I’m going to have to ask for a respected third party to provide information on your reactions” said John, joining Jade in the synchronised needling of Dave’s arguments. “When Dave received the message and was soon after buried in the descending mound of puppets, he made a noise not unlike the squawk of a crow as a sword pierces its bosom” said Rose from behind Dave, Dave whipped his head around and dramatically jerking backwards so that his chair precariously balanced on two legs as he leaned into John’s lap.

“Woe is me, Egbert, between your witchy sister and my all seeing sister, I’m never going to be safe from your interrogations, it’ll be like a social Guantanamo Bay, following me until the end of days” John giggled at this statement and pushed Dave back into a safer sitting position, “Come into my bro bosom John, we can then share our brotherly complaints about horrible sisters, hush John, only emotional confessions now” John started chuckling even more loudly, attracting some sideward glances from the rest of their classmates. John’s laughing was cut short when the teacher at the front of the class coughed, muting most conversations around the room, and commenced roll call, with John and Jade answering with eerily similar cheerful “Here”s, Rose politely answered with “Present” and Dave as the apex cool kid just replied with “’sup”. Dave tuned out his surroundings until he heard an unfamiliar, coarse sounding voice say “Here”, glancing at the source of the voice, he saw a teenager of Rose’s height, with thick black hair and a scowl, Dave’s staring went unnoticed however because of his ever-present sunglasses though his sister turned her face to him slightly, giving him a knowing smirk before turning back to Jade to discuss whatever scientific project that Jade had been messing around with over the holidays.

Rollcall finished without any special announcements, the teacher just droning on about in-school events and fundraising sales that would happen over the week but the students were too busy talking amongst themselves and soon the teacher gave up on this endeavour, taking out his phone to pass the final few minutes. John was talking about one of his movies now and Dave knew that he had already watched all the movies that he was interested in so he stared over the shoulder of John, at the new kid. He immediately noticed the nondescript black hoodie, and that he had his hands stuffed into his pockets, the outlines of his fists showing through. He was just sitting there with a frown, staring at the teacher expectantly as if he could will the teacher out of existence and leave for greener pastures. Most noticeably, was the way people seemed to avoid sitting near him, almost as if an aura was around him, protecting him from the unwanted advances of the masses, a refuge island in the highway of social interaction. “So what do you think Dave?” at the mention of his name, Dave turned his eyes back to his friend and replied “Sounds cool” in the hope that his response was generic and dispassionate enough to fit in the context. “Dave we’ve been talking about the second Ghost Rider movie and you think it’s good?”, John’s voice almost rose to a shriek at the end of that eliciting a single raised eyebrow from Dave, “One day, my son, one day you will understand my way of life, and you will stop discriminating against me, I’m pretty sure if I go check up on the constitution, there’ll be some shit about this, you hear me John, you’re infringing on my movie appreciation rights, I’ll start a riot or something, maybe even a witch hunt or a Monty Python sketch, my feelings are really hurt dude”, “Bluh, you’re definitely coming over to my house on the weekend mister, we’re going to watch the movie and you’re going to see why I think it’s bad, Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t always get it right but I’m with them on this one” John rolled his eyes as he said this, pouting slightly at Dave’s disagreeing with him. “Only if you set out a fucking spread Egbert, I want the red carpet out and a bucket of popcorn, your finest blanket so we can settle on your couch and colonise the shit out of it”, “Haha, yay! Five on Saturday?”, “Sure, sure, let’s just get through the fucking week first, don’t want any casualties from sudden reintroduction to homework injections do we?”, John just giggled at the comment and lightly punched Dave in the shoulder as the bell for first period went. Cracking his neck as he stood up, Dave stood up for a new school year and whatever it entailed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me something like 4 days to write, the crucial detail which directly affects my fanfics is that I live in Australia so I have no knowledge of what the US of A is like, I’ll try to keep some of the Australia-specific details out like location and slang and differences in school, but no guarantees for consistency ::XD.  
> The fanfic that I have chosen to highlight for this first chapter is actually two fanfics, Real Men Wear Tights and Like One Sundered Star, as of the writing of this I’m somewhere around at half of RMWT and I’ve gotten to chapter 25 of LOSS, you probably don’t need me to tell you that they’re amazing because if you had any doubts, put them aside, this stuff redefines rad, I had to spend over a month to get up to chapter 25 of LOSS and it was worth every minute.  
> I also thought of including the songs that I was listening to when I was writing this chapter and they were: Kill the Lights (the Birthday Massacre), Numb (Linkin Park), Phoenix (Fall Out Boy) and Julius Caesar vs Shaka Zulu (Epic Rap Battles of History).  
> One last thing, you can contact me at grimBleeper on Pesterchum, I hadn’t gotten far enough into Homestuck to realise that Kanaya had grim in her chumhandle but I like the name so :::P, thanks for reading :::) 22.7.15


	2. First Damn Meetings

Rose waved at them as she headed off in her own direction, off towards Thaumaturgy or wherever she learnt to push her mental tentacles into unwitting victims, Dave followed John and Jade down to Biology. He had voiced his opinions on the class to his friends before, and he didn’t mind them knowing, there was just something quiet and calming about the shelves of preserved dead things that hung around the room and as long as he aced every test and didn’t disturb the class out loud, the teacher was a pretty chill dude by Dave’s standards. He slouched slightly as he followed behind the chattering of John and Jade, he was pumped about Bio, but not so much that he would grin and mindlessly list every feeling and notion that he received. Knowing the school well enough, he let his gaze wander around, though most of the hallways and corridors were familiar, he had grown a bit during the holidays and saw the crowd at a different angle. In the corner of his eye, he saw a disturbance, a ripple in the crowd and saw the short kid from roll call pushing towards, he could hear the quiet swearing from here, repetitions of “get the fuck out of the way” and “move your fucking ass”, at the sudden influx of obscenities Dave almost raised an eyebrow out of habit but he suppressed the urge and turned into his classroom, taking a seat near the back, a fluid and practiced motion he had mastered over the years.

Mr Uncontrollable Swearing settled near the front of the class, ripping open his bag and fishing out a pencil case and a book as the teacher entered with a cup of coffee in hand and a folder under the other, Dave turned his face to the front of the room, only affording the teacher enough attention so that he wouldn’t miss his name when the teacher would call the roll. Apart from Jade bouncing her leg up and down and her fingers tapping on her book over and over again, she shared the same attentive pose as John, both of them patiently waiting for the teacher to get ready in their own ways. Dave flicked his gaze around the classroom, seeing only a few new faces, including Hollywood Tourette’s in the front row, a small energetic girl and a kid with a mohawk in a wheelchair who was listening to the other girl. Dave noted their names during roll call, filing the names Karkat Vantas, Nepeta Leijon and Tavros Nitram away for future reference, imagining a file cabinet and slam dunking the balled up files into the bottom drawer. The teacher walked up and down the aisles between desks, handing out copies of this year’s biology syllabus, going with the usual talk on getting familiar with the scrap of paper, being prepared for what would come next and advising that the students study in advance. Dave tucked it into his book, putting it under the paper clip on the front page.

As the teacher exited with Karkat and a few other students to carry textbooks or as the teacher so fondly referred to them as “slave labour”, the class devolved into hum of conversations, each with separate topics and participants but all part of this ecosystem. Tavros and Nepeta turned towards Jade and had started talking to her. From here, Dave filtered out the background noise to get a few scraps of the conversation, something about animals and excitement for the school year, Dave would almost smile at the optimism radiating from the trio if he wasn’t stone cold like a certain “Steve Austin” whoever the fuck that was. He got a bit from their talking though, the Tavros kid didn’t exactly sound nervous but he stuttered a lot, as in he probably couldn’t go five words without pausing with an “uhhhhhh…” and Nepeta was ridiculously chipper and made cat puns if he had heard correctly, like damn, Dave thought, she could process a fucking log and spit out scratching posts if this is how she’s like all the time, smirking at the mental image. He almost decided to pull out a notebook to scribble the idea down for his webcomic when the teacher returned with his entourage of book carriers, he sent them distributing the books and when Karkat reached him, the only acknowledgement they gave each other was a glare and the delivery of a textbook which was met with a nod. Karkat turned around and returned to his seat and left Dave to process a clear image of what Karkat looked like.

He flipped open the textbook absently, writing his name in the table in the inside cover of the book and took care to look like he was browsing through the material. He brought back up the image of Karkat’s face, the angry, bloodshot eyes staring at him with such ferocity, the clarity of his cheekbones, the sharp chin and the beginnings of a snarl with his lips just parted and his teeth barely showing. Dave, kept looking at the mental image, noting small details like the surprisingly muted bags under his eyes, the lack of stubble and the brownness of his eyes, he would almost say that the pupils were tinged with red, nearing burgundy. At this, Dave smiled, his lips only quirking up a fraction, enough so that he could feel it, but not so much that others would notice without him lifting his sunglasses. He took out his notebook again and flipped to a new page, drawing Karkat’s face from memory, trying to capture the hatred from the teen’s face and translate it to an everlasting visual medium. “Karkat?” at the mention of the other boy’s name, Dave looked up, noticing that everyone else in the class had rearranged themselves into pairs, Jade already talking with Tavros and John and Nepeta sharing a giggle, probably something he missed. “It appears you will be partnered with Dave, as you are new to the school , he should be able to answer any questions you have.” Karkat gave a curt nod to the teacher and resumed looking at his textbook.

Dave sashayed his way around other pairs as he leant over Karkat’s shoulder, taking a look at what Karkat believed was more important than conversing with what was pretty much the only example of irony in a mile radius. Breaking the tension, Karkat spoke first “Listen up dumbass, I’m going to give it to you straight, I don’t like you and I don’t give a flying fuck about what you think about me. We’re going to be lab partners for the rest of the fucking year so just do me a favour and shut the fuck up so I can get this over and done with.” The swearing was too much for Dave, his eyebrow rising involuntarily over his sunglasses, “Whoa man, slow down, ‘kay? You lost me at you giving it to me straight, because I’m pretty sure we can do that after class, got any free time at lunch?”, the other boy narrowed his eyes, lips definitely curling into a fully-fledged snarl as Dave’s quirked up into a smirk “How about fuck you, you can take your shitty flirting and cram it up your ass and don’t expect me to be around to pull it back the fuck out, how about I teach you how to do this stupid friendship ritual you’re attempting” at this Karkat raised a finger “First, asshole, you introduce yourself to them with small talk about your fucking situation or your interests and maybe your name if you’re feeling particularly revelatory-” At this moment, Dave cut him off “And I was going to do that before you so rudely interrupted me”.

“Bullshit, you were just fucking leaning over me, personal space mean anything to your fucking empty skull?” “And you’re here to teach me how to make friends?” asked Dave, both corners of his mouth turning from a smirk to a genuinely amused smile. “How about go fuck yourself with a rusty scalpel, in fact to solidify our newfound friendship, I’m going to march my way across to that fucking lab and get one myself, I’ll even avert my eyes tastefully so you can wallow in your shame alone” Karkat was going a bit red in the face with his ramblings and turned to stand up to Dave. Dave stepped back a bit, giving room for Karkat to get in his face, five-foot eight of fuming 16 year old. They stared at each other for a moment, neither backing down from the unsaid staring contest before Dave spoke first “Fine, fine, chill your pills or whatever, I’m the one and only Dave Strider, god of the internet and your new overlord of biology, at your service” giving a heavily exaggerated curtsy as well. “While I highly doubt both your scientific ability and your technological prowess, it seems you have finally learnt to fucking introduce yourself, so as a one-time courtesy I’ll repay the favour, Karkat Vantas, I like romcoms, long walks on the beach and being left the fuck alone, so the smoother this goes, the better, capiche?”

Forgetting all the lessons his bro had taught him, Dave broke out into a grin, his teeth only just revealed through his separated lips “Nah man, you and I, we’re in this for the long run, nothing else matters, we’re trapped in this tango for two with the music being our intelligent conversations, shit, philosophers will look back and just go, man, what the fuck happened to the camaraderie of the human race, this shit ought to be a case study or something, we could totally poach their ideas for a Nobel Prize”. Coincidentally, the teacher wandered over to them, smiling serenely the whole time “Dave, I’m glad to see that you’re getting along so well with Mr Vantas here, please do make sure he feels welcome at the school, I trust that there will be no issues?”, Dave’s face instantly settled back into a mask of indifference and he snaked his arm around Karkat’s shoulder, holding him close and speaking up before Karkat had a chance to complain “We’re cool sir, we’re gonna best bros, I just know it” with a curt nod the teacher wandered off to terrorise some other students with his dissonance. “Strider, if you do not fucking let go of my shoulder, I swear I will punch you so hard in the nose, your sunglasses will become a permanent fucking feature of your face” snarled Karkat as soon as the teacher was out of earshot, “You’re breaking up our marriage so soon? Think of the kids Karkat, how disappointed they would be if they saw mummy hit daddy, it would fucking traumatise them, I thought you were a better woman the whole time but all this time I was just blind to your manipulations, woe is me, you seduced me only for my children, hush don’t speak anymore, I’m taking the children out to my pedo van, far away from you where you will never see them ever again.”

Karkat opened and closed his mouth at this rebuttal, trying to formulate something suitably snarky but unable to even comprehend the flood of words and vague analogies from Dave before shaking off Dave’s hand. “Do you even know half the fucking things that come of your mouth or is there just some great fucking orator shitting from your mouth without you knowing?” though it was intended as an insult, Dave just smiled warmly at the troll, appreciating the verbal fencing that was taking place, taking in the spoken ripostes and just admiring the shorter teen’s sheer audacity and bluster. He hadn’t even noticed that he was just staring at Karkat and only smiling until the other boy waved his hand in front of his face “Earth to fucking Strider, did you even hear my fucking question or did you just forget how to comprehend the fucking English language, I’ve only met you for 10 minutes and your hipster ass has already gone fucking catatonic on me? I swear, I’m not going to take you the hospital or notify anyone, just leave you here paralysed as a statue for all to see, what happens when you fucking piss me off and lose.” “Heh, sure sure, you win this one, but seriously, here’s me laying it out for you, I’m trying to get to know you better and I am, I’ve just learnt so fucking much over the course of our conversation, you don’t even know how much, if it continues at this rate we’re going to become fucking soul mates by the end of the week, you’ve stolen my virgin heart and you’d better treat it dearly. And speaking of virgins, what do you have next?”

Karkat bent down to grab his timetable from his bag, unfolding the already creased piece of paper and looking it over quickly before shoving it into Dave’s hands. Dave rotated the timetable “Cool, looks like I get to join you in Film”, at this Karkat threw his hands in the air, near the brink of screaming “For the love of all that is fucking sacred, Strider is there no lesson that you will not fucking corrupt? I’ve already had to deal with your sorry ass this period and now you’re fucking telling me that I’m going to have to see you next period, shit, you’ve had your time to go catatonic now it’s my turn.” Dave settled back into a confident smirk, sitting back on the desk behind him “Already making decisions like these? Shit, you’re more judgemental than I thought, my emotions are a delicate thing, Karkat and you’re just going to shit all over the, I forgive you, just promise me you’ll never do this again or we’re actually bro-divorcing for realsies next time, I’ll walk with you down to film.” Karkat just sighed and started packing up his book and pencil case, muttering all the while with the occasional “fucking” and “shitty”, Dave took this as acceptance and just walked back to his desk near the back. John turned away from Nepeta to look at Dave quizzically, “Dave I heard a lot of swearing from your side, are you ok?” “Me? I’m fucking peachy, all them other fruits are so jealous of me over my hard core and my hairy outsides, shit those bananas over there are probably unpeeling in their stress” John resumed his dopey smile at this, happy with the explanation and turned back to Nepeta to chat animatedly. As Dave turned towards the jars of formaldehyde and corpses, the bell rang signalling second period, it was going to be a fun year with this Karkat Vantas, he didn’t care whether they became friends or enemies, talking with him was just something enjoyable even if neither of them showed it to the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random Personal Deets- I guess my movie tastes are the one for this chapter, I guess I like action, sci-fi and fantasy movies a lot, recent movies that I’ve quite enjoyed include every single Marvel and Batman movie in the last 12 years, I also liked Pacific Rim, I’m split between only caring about the plot, not giving a s**t about the plot and relentlessly criticising the plot, sometimes all at the same time  
> Fanfic Recommendations- Herding Cats, if I ever had to rank my favourite fanfics this would probably make the top 3, I love the writing, the characterisation and it genuinely took my emotions in its verbal hand and dragged it to a roller coaster, one of the fanfics I’ve enjoyed so much that I’ve read it multiple times, to a lesser extent, Mask of the Catgirl which is pure shameless smut, soooooo depraved, /me whispers “I read that a few times too”  
> Songs- Cool Kids (Echosmith), Kill the Lights (the Birthday Massacre), Radioactive (Imagine Dragons)  
> grimBleeper 24.7.15


	3. Invitation to Movie Night

Sliding past juniors and squeezing past other students, Dave made his way to Karkat’s side. Karkat glanced at his side, barely acknowledging him so Dave spoke first. “You do know where room 21 is, right?” “Gee, asshole, I wonder what these symbols on the fucking doors are for, my shitty memory seems to be identifying them as some sort of indicators for the rooms, could they be these legendary fucking numbers? Maybe Indiana Jones should take a look at this shit while Nazis shoot at him or something” “Sure, sure, just saying, it’s in a different building and if you really want to get to film, you should probably follow me instead of just checking door by door.” Dave abruptly turned the corner down a flight of stairs, and then proceeded straight to a building with a red sign and white text reading “Building C”, they walked along a narrow hallway until they reached their destination. The room was lined with posters of films old and news, Dave noticed Karkat’s gaze lingering on Adam Sandler before they settled down in the front row. “John should be getting here soon, he’s pretty much a fanatic about this, like, shit, he spent a good few weeks talking about how exciting this was going to be, a class where we analyse and sometimes reproduce film” Dave smiled as he reminisced about the last year, just a bunch of friends dicking around, getting good grades without really worrying, having fun in general was going to be something he might have to miss this year. Karkat turned to face Dave but was caught off guard by his tone of voice when his attention had left the various movie posters on the walls “What the fuck’s wrong with you, you were all snarky and shit in biology and now you’re pouring your fucking heart out when you’re friends aren’t around?”

Dave’s smile instantly flattened into a stoic expression the moment John walked in, Nepeta had come in with John and Nepeta was gesturing wildly at various posters as they settled in next to Dave and Karkat. “Hi Dave!” “’sup, Egbert” “How did you guys get here so early? We didn’t even see you” “Nah man, we didn’t take the scenic route, ‘sides, outside’s like a fucking oven right now and we students are the chicken, crispy skin and the whole stuffing thing as well” “Daaaaaave it’s not even recess yet” “Deal with it Egbert, you can’t fight the hunger, I would refer you to a Snickers bar but we both know you’re not you when you’re hungry.” Karkat looked over Dave’s shoulder to join the conversation “Does he always make shitty references to obscure memes and television commercials or is he just a fucking insufferable prick?” “Dave’s an acquired taste, I would say he’s like a rose but that’s his sister’s name” unable to tolerate the mention of his sister, Dave decided to pipe up “Stop while you can John, we can’t let poor dear Karkat know about the horrors of Rose, she’ll fuck him up worse than the Kool-Aid man.” John leaned back further in his seat to maintain eye contact with Karkat and fake whispered “He used to really like Kool-Aid but one day he just snapped and started drinking apple juice, he’s never been the same ever since.” Karkat couldn’t decide whether John was just teasing Dave or if John’s tone belied a certain sense of nostalgia to when they were younger and different.

The class went by quickly with more introductions to topics and distributions of syllabi, when the bell rang for recess, some practically sprinted out of the room but Dave took his time unfortunately keeping back Karkat who had been sitting between him and the wall. Once John and Nepeta had left, Karkat noticed Dave was smiling again and decided to get to know his newfound acquaintance better, despite his douchiness “Ok, there’s either something really fucked up between you and John or you and Nepeta, seeing as how you’ve probably never met Nepeta before, the only logical conclusion is that it’s John.” “Karkat, I don’t know what you’re talking about, me and him are just fine, best bros in fact, our broship has lasted for years and this is how we, as true bros act around one another” “Fuck you, you fucking liar, I can see something’s wrong with you two, you act completely fucking differently from when it’s just me and when there’s John potentially listening, you don’t express any emotion at all around him and then we he leaves, it’s like you’re fucking Atlas and you’ve just finally been relieved of the goddamn sky.” Dave’s mouth twisted slightly before his voice became much softer “Karkat, I just met you so forgive me if I’m not telling you my life story, there are some things better left unsaid until later, ‘kay? Dammit, fuck you and you getting me to talk, I’ve just fucking met you and you’ve already got me eating out of your fucking palm like I’m some shitty dog, let’s just go so I can introduce you to the others”. Whatever reaction Karkat was expecting, he certainly didn’t account for Dave being that fucked up, he awkwardly patted Dave’s shoulder before retracting his hand, a concerned look on his face. Dave stood up and adjusted his bag before walking off to some shitty tree near the cafeteria.

Though Dave didn’t make a noise throughout the trips, he inwardly freaked out, trying to rationalise why he reacted so with such sincerity to a near stranger. He had settled under the tree without his standard greetings, he tried replaying his limited interactions with Karkat, not knowing what drew them together, Karkat certainly wasn’t bad looking, a sharp face and a not per se beautiful scowl but it kept his attention. Shit, he was thinking too much about this, abort, abort, Houston we have a problem, act cool, act cool. He adjusted his glasses before turning back to Karkat “You gonna stand there all day? You’ve never seen a tree before? They’re made of wood, they provide fucking shade and they’re one of the most stereotypical things to sit under, it’s like humans have an obsession with wood or something” any semblance of concern for Dave’s emotions vanished from Karkat’s mind at that moment, automatically replaced with a snarled reply “Asshole, anyone with two brain cells knows what fucking tree is, just waiting for you to introduce me to your so-called friends.” Oh, right, he probably had said that “Yeah, yeah, buck teeth, glasses and messy short hair is John, then there’s his twin sister who is basically the same except with long hair Jade, if she hasn’t snuck up on us during this conversation, my twin sister rose looks like me except with purple eyes, she’s also some kind of shitty psychologist so don’t expect to have a conventional pleasant conversation with her unless you want to be mentally dissected.” “That’s a rude description of me, David. I had hoped that you would at least highlight some of my better qualities before slandering my good name in front of a stranger.” Rose said, not looking up from a book she was sharing with someone just out of Dave’s view “But as we are introducing newfound friends, this is Kanaya Maryam who attended home economics which was from across my modern history class, she is quite the fashion expert and also a new student.”

From around the tree a tall girl with short black hair and jade green lipstick walked into view, her posture was alarmingly like Rose’s but instead of barely veiled passive-aggressiveness, her small smile appeared to be either nerves or her being a nice person. “Oh, Karkat, it is good to see you again, I take it that you enjoyed your first two periods, otherwise you would be much more irate and willing to vocalise your opinions in front of us.” Dave looked to Karkat and saw that his eyes were slightly widened before they settled back “Yeah, biology and film weren’t that bad, just like our last shitty school, introductions and them telling us what the curriculum is”, Karkat was speaking in a much more restrained and respectful tone now and Kanaya smiled at this, “I see that you have also made friends with someone, Rose, I take it that this is your brother Dave?” Rose hadn’t kept her eyes off Kanaya the whole time and answered like she knew the question was coming the whole time “Yes, we do appear to be physically similar and he would usually be much more verbose and obnoxious but it appears you have just witnessed a very rare occasion.” “Lies and blasphemies, Rose, I am the fucking epitome of gentlemanliness and you know it, shit you have no idea how much I’ve given up just for you, your lack of empathy wounds me so deeply” Dave put the back of his hand to his forehead, dramatically leaning back but when Karkat shuffled out of the way, Dave just leant against the tree, crossing his arms.

Rose made an “as you can see” gesture at Dave and turned back to Kanaya, eager to psychoanalyse Dave’s behaviours, content with the first impressions. Likewise, Dave turned back to Karkat “Dude, you have no idea of the pain that I’m going through, I got fucking chills from how cold she was, can you even believe that she’s like this 24/7?” “I don’t see anything wrong with her, asshole, you’re just fucking overreacting to everything and speaking of overreacting, what the fuck did you expect me to when you were fucking swooning, get someone else to fucking catch you next time you pull a stupid stunt like that” Karkat’s scowl had transformed into just a tight line, to Dave, it looked like he was doing something right if he could get Karkat to stop yelling angrily no matter how momentary it was. “Don’t diss the swoon, man, it was the textbook definition of a swoon, I’m winning Oscar’s and shit for that, ladies be lining up to take lessons from the master of swooning.” “The only fucking Oscar you’re winning is the one for worst aspiring actor and if you’re lucky the one for the worst movie, I didn’t get a fucking thing out of that introduction except that you and you’re sister have some kind of shitty sibling rivalry.” “Shoosh, you’re spoiling the movie for these young minds who haven’t witnessed the truly mind-boggling qualities of the Strider Swoon, y’know, they could label you a public fucking menace to safety or some shit if you do that.” “And you would fucking know, wouldn’t you, I bet you just turn up at movies for the fucking popcorn or just to yell out spoilers you’ve just fucking read up on, you wouldn’t know a good movie if it sat in your morning cereal and shat all over it” Dave clutched at the left side of his chest “How dare you accuse me of having poor movie taste, you barely know me and you’re already dissing my everything, I’m just gonna let you write my fucking biography at this point, just let me title it “A God And Me, a story of extreme irony” and I’ll give you 50% of the royalties.” “Shut the fuck up, Strider, if anything it’s gonna be called, “Assholes And Irony, where shitstains forget what irony is and just try to be Alanis Morrisette”, since you’re so intent on continuing your stupid friendship ritual, I’ll oblige you for one second, in my moment of weakness and extreme hatred, I personally invite you to my home so I can fucking educate you on the glories of proper cinema, now will you finally shut up so I can get some fucking peace and quiet?”

The corner of Dave’s mouth quirked up by a fraction and if Karkat could see it he didn’t show it, “Then it’s a date”, Karkat started waving his hands animatedly at this “Fuck you, it is not a fucking date, if you’re going to be in my fucking class, I will not tolerate your ignorance until I am absolutely sure that you won’t just suggest some sort of shitty Nic Cage film, I will not tolerate this affront to sanity for even one fucking second, this is absolutely to convince myself that you are not in fact some shitty person looking to fucking prank me and that you at least have a shred of decency.” John had perked up at the mention of Nic Cage and turned around, eyes gleaming with anticipation “Karkat! Can I come as well, y’know we share a film class and it wouldn’t hurt if we got to know each other a bit better, right?” “Egbert, at this point I don’t even care who the fuck comes along as long as you take care that it’s my fucking house and any my word is the fucking law, and you will abide by it or so help me god.” John nodded enthusiastically at this before turning back to Nepeta, continuing on whatever conversation they had. Dave and Karkat sat at the tree staring at the buildings and the sky for a moment, Dave just watched Karkat out of the corner of his eye, waiting for Karkat to calm down but never got the opportunity as the bell rang, signalling the end of recess. Karkat reached over to his backpack to get out his timetable, and then walked off to whatever class he had, when Karkat nearly rounded the corner he raised his middle finger back in Dave’s general direction. At this, Dave smiled a bit at the obscene gesture, eager to meet his seemingly eternally irate friend in a less formal situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters start to break down, personalities change, relationships are revealed or hinted at, I would say this is where the chapter takes a significant turn from just mindless pre-crush feelings to kinda-sorta attempted explanation of feelings. All the characters don’t have to conform to what you guys expect, but they do represent how I interpret them, feel free to post comments on ideas you guys might like to see :::).  
> Ramblings about me- Professional interests and school subjects, I’m a smart person compared to the average person but very lacklustre compared to my peers, I picked ancient history, modern history, legal studies, economics, English and maths, but just putting it out there, I’m terrible at maths and that’s probably my biggest regret right now, I want to become a lawyer or something like that but it’s hard to not roleplay as Terezi in the middle of a legal essay and nobody understands…  
> Fanfic Recommendations- Not Like That, if there was one relationship I would never expect liking it would be Bro/John, this is an amazing love story the characterisation is excellent, character development is absolutely beautiful, it possesses a certain je ne sais quoi which makes the characters believable and your emotions open up and do acrobatic fucking pirouettes off handles.  
> Songs- Radioactive (Imagine Dragons), Welcome To The Show (Britt Nicole)  
> grimBleeper- 25.7.15


	4. School's Out Forever, until tomorrow

The day passed rather quickly and uneventfully until the last two periods where Dave had gym, as it was the first day, none of his classmates had brought anything to exercise in except for their underclothes. The teenagers crowded into the change-rooms, some talking with each other about their holidays, others focusing on extrication of heads from shirts. As Dave put on a pair of shorts and some of the faster changers started leaving, Karkat walked in, head dipped as he made a bee-line straight to the nearest deserted corner. Dave left the change-rooms soon after that, no reason to stay there if he didn’t have too, the teachers had left them alone for their first day back and hadn’t decided to give them any exercises to do. Dave was cool with that and did a few stretches, limbering up so that he could pass the period with just some jogging and maybe even some proper laps. Karkat soon exited the change-rooms as well, with a grimace on his face as he regarded the rest of his class which lay in varying states of talking amongst themselves, running buck wild and the few who decided to actually exercise during the period. Running wasn’t something Karkat did often as his lifestyle was hectic enough but it was something he greatly enjoyed, he spotted Dave and thought to himself about how he finally found a friendly face, even though that face was some kind of brain dead sunglasses wearing asshole. He slouched over to wear Dave was and did a few quick stretches and they walked over to the oval and started jogging, two laps in and both teens were breathing a bit more loudly though neither had spoken a word to the other, some other students had joined them but only Dave and Karkat were running alongside a partner.

“What’s the story with the shades anyways?” asked Karkat, genuinely interested in why Dave wore eye-obscuring sunglasses to school and no teachers gave him shit for it. “Maybe I’ll show later when we’re not at school, we’ll see.” Dave didn’t have time for elegant analogies and ironic metaphors, he wasn’t altogether focusing on the fact that Karkat had spoken up, just looking ahead and focusing on his breathing. The teens got through a total of five laps before they both got off to the bleachers to rest, Dave took off his glasses to wipe them off but Karkat was just panting and staring off into the distance, getting familiar with his new school. The grass appeared to be freshly mown and lines appeared to be newly painted, marking out a soccer field which undoubtedly would be filled with students during the lunch period. Goal posts marked out the soccer field on either end with the field doubling as some kind of football field with the way the posts extended far past the horizontal bar. “Period’s ending soon, so we can leave school then, you gonna tell me where you live or do I have to wait for the end of the week for that privilege?” Dave had finished cleaning his shades by this time and had joined Karkat in taking in their surroundings, “I live something like five minutes out from here by car, it’s just over there” said Karkat vaguely pointing at the northern goalpost, Dave noted this and decided that he would get the full address on Friday. “Cool, you got anything to do after school or do you want to hang out?” Dave was still staring at the northern goalpost “Calm your impatient ass down, how about I would hang out with you on the weekend, I have things to do” Karkat’s face dipped into a frown for a moment before returning to a neutral flat line at the end of the remark “Sure, sure, whatever you say man, you mind if I give you my number?” Dave had taken out a notepad and was scribbling away at it, in preparation of Karkat’s answer. “Fine, but don’t expect me to use it, do you have Pesterchum?” “Yeah, I’ll write that down as well” The bell rang as Dave handed the scrap of paper over to Karkat; he saluted his new friend before strolling to the front gate back home.

Karkat looked down at the number and handle “turntechGodhead” it read and Karkat scoffed at the pretentious chosen name, he stuffed it into his pocket before slinging his bag over his shoulder and taking his own time to walk out the back gate near the northern end of the oval. He was walking through the streets, paying attention to the shops around him unlike when he was hurrying to school, it was a pretty decent sized town and he made note of the few movie rental stores and comic book stores, wanting to return at a later date. There was a good sized library as well and he was sure that would fill up with students when it got later into the school term. He turned into a cul-de-sac and entered the first house on the left, Knocking on the door, he rocked back and forth on his heels, waiting for his father to open it, eventually he heard someone nearly tripping over themselves as they descended down the stairs and his father opened the door, looking slightly flustered as he adjusted the jumper he wore. He ruffled Karkat’s hair before wrapping an arm around Karkat’s shoulder, pulling him inside the house and closing the door with the other arm. Without turning away from the door as he locked it he asked “So son, how was your day? Did you make any new friends, how are your subjects?” Karkat just smiled back at is inquisitive father “It was fine, I met some douchebag who isn’t as bad as all the other assholes and my subjects aren’t bad, though I haven’t gotten far enough in the year to really make any judgements.” His father nodded at this, patting Karkat on the back, “There’s some food in the kitchen if you want any, I’ll be in my room if you need me. “, and with this he ascended the stairs once again vanishing into his office where he usually wrote for a newspaper and did advertising, he had gotten quite decent at his job and there was no shortage for the need of a journalist or spin doctor.

Karkat settled down in the kitchen, pulling out a chair so he could sit and eat some of the rebaked pizza, he looked out the window, absently gnawing at his slice. The tree in his backyard rustled a bit with the wind as he thought back on the events of his first day. He had found out that his subjects weren’t completely intolerable, he had made some new friends no matter how obnoxious they were and no one was actively picking on him at least, it was a nice quiet place actually. His let his thoughts wander, occasionally actually paying attention to what he was doing, he shared most of his classes with one Dave Strider, half a foot taller than him, blonde hair, eye-obscuring shades, annoying self-proclaimed coolness, that smile which he never revealed around the others. Karkat shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts, attributing Dave’s show of emotion just as something that was between Dave and John and definitely nothing to do with him. He probably wasn’t into guys and Karkat certainly wasn’t going to bring it up with him in case he lost the one new friend he had made so far. Getting another slice of pizza from the tray, Karkat started tapping on the table to the rhythm of some shitty song he had heard somewhere, there were others who he had learned of over the course of the day, John who kept a bright smile on his face at all times but his eyes looked like they were always in pain, yep, definitely something between John and Dave. Rose who always had a serene smile on her face which was kinda unnerving but her ability to analyse the minds of others was something he would have to see for himself if he was to take Dave’s word on it. Jade who like John was ridiculously cheery but she was just so genuine about it, bouncing around and being excited for everything, not having a care in the world, her brightness unnerved and intimidated Karkat but as long as he didn’t have to hang around her 24/7, he probably wouldn’t burn out. There was also Nepeta who he talked to before and it was still slightly awkward between them, she had admitted that she had a crush on him but he had callously pushed her aside, he liked her and how she was always so damn nice but past him was a massive douchebag and there wasn’t going to be a way to be better than acquaintances now and Kanaya, his cousin who had cared for him throughout his life, even when he was at a different school from her, she had handled him and Nepeta well enough that they didn’t actively hate each other, she was a good person to be around.

Karkat continued smiling, not realising how mellow he had become over just thinking about things in a positive light, he pulled out his phone and looked at his Pesterchum, one name in particular stood out to him, twinArmageddons so he tapped it to talk to his old friend Sollux. “Hey Sollux, how was your first day of school” Sollux’s voice was soothing, something familiar he could hold onto even in his new surroundings “KK, you thound happy? What the fuck ith wrong with you and why are you happy? Latht time I found you happy was when … well never, you’re always fucking thhouting or thomething, who are you and what have you done to the real KK?” evidently it was a lispy, annoying kind of soothing but Karkat didn’t mind “Thanks for asking douchebag, new school’s pretty ok, I’ve met some new people, turns out Nepeta actually goes to this school” “Catgirl with a cruthh on you? Haha, fate’th a fucking fickle mithtrethth, how’d you deal with that?” Karkat grimaced at his friend’s crude way of regarding it “It’s ok I guess, we didn’t really talk to one another even though we share a few classes, you doing fine back there without me?” “Everything’th fucking peachy, already know everything in the thyllabuth, jutht got to make it through the year and thhit, maybe I’ll thee you thometime thoon, k?” “Haha, sure Sollux, I’ll meet you on the weekend and we can go play some DOTA or something” “Why the fuck are you laughing, KK? DOTA’th theriouth buthinethth and you know it, altho thhould I be worried that you’re not fucking yelling and thwearing everywhere?” Ugh, past him was a douchebag, didn’t Karkat just finish telling this to himself, he certainly didn’t need a reminder of past him’s stupidity “Fuck you, better?” “We’ll thee on Thaturday, cya” “Yeah, bye”

Karkat sighed, he would have to deal with Sollux on the weekend but that wouldn’t be too bad, it never was, just listening in to him ramble on and on about how inefficient and stupid other people online was often a fun pastime in the recent years. He put his phone in his pocket, threw out the used aluminium foil and packed away the oven. Walking up the stairs, he went into his room, the walls were soundproofed for some reason but his father had claimed that it was for work purposes and Karkat never got anything out of him about what they would need all the privacy for but he had gotten used to having soundproofing from a young age. He turned on his PC and signed into Pesterchum on there, deciding to go onto Youtube to catch up on his subscribed channels, flicking on some Five Nights at Freddy’s 4 video, he went onto his next task, checking up on various blogs and tumblrs, there wasn’t anything special so he just tabbed back to the video and watched it, it really wasn’t that different from the other games but there was something special about how people were still frightened by it. The hours slipped through his grasp as he worked his way up the list of Youtube videos and was almost saddened when he realised that there wouldn’t be much time for these videos once homework and assessment tasks started flooding in so he got out his biology textbook and started reading. Come dinner time, he was satisfied with his understanding of what they would do in the first few weeks, so he shuffled downstairs to whatever his father had made for dinner, his mother wouldn’t be joining them because she usually worked late and he only saw her in the mornings and on weekends but that was just one other thing he had gotten used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can disagree on the way I portray the past but I didn’t want Karkat x Nepeta to be something I have to write, I might write a side-fic on this later but for now just trust me that that was a thing. I’d like to imagine that Pesterchum has a voice and a text function but I just don’t want to write Sollux’s quirk, sheesh it’s kinda ridiculous is what it is. I have no idea about FNaF 4 so I didn’t really elaborate on it.  
> Ramblings about me- Hobbies, nowadays it’s just reading fanfics, listening to music and watching Youtube, I used to play video games a lot but as of the writing of this I haven’t played in two weeks, I enjoyed games like TF2, Tomb Raider 2013, Borderlands (the series as a whole) and Solitaire, I frequently watch youtubers like Northernlion and Admiral Bahroo, I also play a bit of Yugioh and MTG  
> Fanfic Recommendations- Coming to Terms, once again focusing on a relationship I generally don’t care about really like the description and love story surrounding it, it’s Eridan <3 Sollux which is even more notable as I personally dislike Eridan and I am decidedly neutral on Sollux’s character, but seriously, soooooo much drama  
> Songs- Welcome To The Show (Britt Nicole), Lullaby (Nickelback), Lights (Ellie Goulding)  
> grimBleeper 27.7.15


	5. Day 2, Converge

Karkat awoke to his father prodding him in the side, “Wake up, Karkat, can’t afford to be late and you don’t want your breakfast going cold” Karkat made a muffled noise beneath his blankets and thrashed around, his father appeared to have gotten the message and left the room, closing the door with him. Karkat lay in bed for what felt like around five minutes, he had a pretty decent internal clock after going through this routine for years, he knew that he would want to get up at 6:30 every day and his father knew that he would always lie in bed for a further five minutes, over the years they just didn’t even question it, habit had become second nature. He flung away his blankets before folding them, he groggily dragged his feet to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, splashing cold water on his face. He washed his hands thoroughly to put his contacts in and satisfied that his eye colour was covered, he walked downstairs to quickly eat his cereal, wiping the flakes of oat and wheat from his mouth with the back of hand, he got up and washed his bowl and put away the box of cereal. It was around 6:45 now so Karkat pulled on some sneakers and headed out the door. “Dad, I’ll come back later to pick up my school stuff” he shouted as he locked the door behind him, “Of course, son, I won’t be going anywhere today, have a safe jog” came the muffled reply, this was another part of Karkat’s routine, and Karkat knew that if he didn’t give the customary warning, his father would either forget about him or forget where he was.

He took off at a comfortable pace, getting out of the cul-de-sac and jogging down the street to where it met the main street, he was given some cursory nods from other joggers as he reached the main street and it was just part of his culture, he had moved here quite recently and though he didn’t really know anyone here except for Kanaya, everywhere he went at least there were joggers. Letting the cool air brush past his face and push at his hoodie, Karkat kept his head up, knowing that if he didn’t he might run into someone, or worse, a pole. He reached the shopping centre at 7 and rested for a bit, sitting on a bench and staring as the cars drove around, people going on with their own mundane lives. Soon he got fed up with the view and ran back home, springing for the hell of it, it was a good feeling, just flying through the air and watching everything blur past him, his legs ached as he got back home but it was always worth it, there were always going to be times for sprinting and he didn’t like going through the day without just letting loose for a bit, it was like sitting in a car but knowing that you yourself was what made you go so fast. Karkat unlocked the door and pushed it open, he bounded up the stairs, energy unspent, and grabbed his bag, saying goodbye to his shut-in father before quickly leaving the house.

He jogged to school and headed straight to the library, at about half past 7, hardly anyone was here and he intended to get up to some studying even if they hadn’t properly started on anything. He had pulled out a random book on genetics and taken up residence in a corner near the philosophy section, he leant back in his chair and flipped the book open, it wasn’t really anything he was unfamiliar with but that was because genetics was kinda his forte, it was the one thing which made him want to do biology. He mused over the detailed accounts of the effects of human mutations, interviews with those living with muscular disorders, severe allergies, deformed bone structure, he had seen it all before but every time, he swore they looked different, it was all pretty much the same but a unique perspective was found every time. He had only gotten through half the book before the bell rang for homeroom, shaking him out of his stupor, he hadn’t realised how long it had passed since he got here and when he got up, he noticed that during this time Rose had sat next to him. They silently walked to homeroom from the library, Karkat’s scowl had reasserted itself on his face the moment they left the library and he couldn’t really help it, Rose didn’t seem to mind walking with Karkat and when they reached the homeroom slightly after the rest of the class, if Dave was surprised by it he certainly didn’t show it.

After rollcall, Karkat had turned to Dave out of sheer boredom “What do you have first period?”, Dave rotated his head slightly “English, shit you weren’t lying when you said that you were going to be giving it to me straight”, Karkat groaned at this not believing that Dave literally just referenced the first thing Karkat had said to Dave upon meeting him, “Shut the fuck up Strider, I’ll voice my own fucking opinions however the fuck I want, does this mean I have to grind through another lesson with you?” “Why don’t you tell me what room you’re in and then we’ll find out, I’m down in room 17, how about you?” Karkat turned out his pockets, not finding his timetable, he tore open his bag and took it out, he looked over it quickly, finding his first period in the semi-convoluted grid, “15, looks like I get to have some fucking peace and quiet, gods have fucking mercy on me” Jade detached herself from her conversation with John and Nepeta to speak up, “Really? Looks like we’re sharing an English class Karkat! Hopefully you don’t swear as much in class, most English teachers aren’t as tolerant as the science teachers” “Do they also have a policy on not speaking all the fucking time in class, because if so, then this may end up tolerable after all.” Jade only giggled at this, giving Karkat a sense of foreboding “No, silly! We’ll probably have mostly discussion and debate unless it’s reading and essay writing, ugh I’m usually only up for the talky bits, the other ones don’t really interest me”. Karkat only nodded and grunted at this, unsure of how to interpret this information without knowing what topics they were doing.

Karkat followed Jade to first period when the bell rang and they had sat in the front row, Jade bouncing in her seat and Karkat already regretting even going near Jade her ridiculous bubbliness. Class wasn’t really that different from all the others because it was still the first week of the year, Jade had practically told him her fucking life story, how she grew up with John because her father had died and her mother was with John’s dad at the time, she had had a crush on Dave before slowly just being comfortable with being his friend, her obsession with the sciences and some of her other hobbies. It was a lot of information to process but Karkat didn’t exactly hate her like other people, though she was annoyingly cheerful, she seemed like an honest enough person that he would be able to confide in her if he had to. Jade was initially slightly intimidated by Karkat’s boisterous swearing but had soon found out that he wasn’t a bad guy, he was a good listener and seemed to be empathic and comforting when she went on and on about her experiences, Jade also learnt a bit about Karkat too, his mother was rarely at home, his father was very shut-in, he liked biology and rom coms and was really verbose about how he portrayed his opinions which was something she respected, she gave him a light punch on the arm before cackling off into a hallway, not waiting for Karkat’s retribution, playful or otherwise.

Karkat knew that they were both going to physics anyways so he sighed at her childishness and did his best to keep up with Jade, Jade weaved through the crowds and out the building but Karkat didn’t have her speed or enthusiasm so ended up just pushing his way past people with the occasional profanity or apology. Once Karkat got out of the building, he had to squint to make out Jade’s hair trailing behind her and he walked a bit quicker, easier now that the student density wasn’t as high. Dave and John were already at tables when Karkat and Jade finally made it there, Dave talking about something and John patiently listening, Jade ruffled John’s already messy hair before sitting down next to him and Karkat went to the other side with Dave, “Just saying, I’m pretty sure Karkat’s not going to appreciate Con Air and its obviously top-tier love story, incredible acting and Nic Cage, no matter how good you think it is.” “Con Air is a work of art and you know it, Dave, you’re sarcasm won’t make it any less beautiful.” John turned to Karkat for his opinion “Karkat, we need a tiebreaker, Dave isn’t a fan of Con Air and I reckon it is one of the best movies ever, as an impartial party I think you could solve this problem.” Karkat almost couldn’t believe what he had just heard, he had watched Con Air sure, but saying it wasn’t great would be like saying McDonalds is “pretty popular”, thinking back when he was 12 he had seen it for the first time on TV and Nicolas Cage wasn’t exactly his favourite actor. To start, his faked accent was hard on the ears, Cyrus “the Virus” was pretty over-the-top and hardly any of it made sense, it was like someone explaining a car crash just with equations of the physics of vehicular destruction but not telling you that it was a car crash. “Uhhhhhh, I’ll have to go with Dave on this one” said Karkat, unsure of how to break it to John that what appeared to be one of his favourite movies was absolute trash. John pouted at this, disappointed at Karkat’s choice “Fine, I heard that you were going to watch movies with Dave on the weekend, you mind if me and Jade drop by as well” his face lighting up. Karkat was taken aback by this, unsure how to react to this but Dave intervened “Sure, the more the merrier amirite?” “Fuck you Strider, you can’t just invite random people to my house but since John would probably look like I kicked a puppy if I said no, fine, bring food and your own sleeping bag if you’re staying the night as well.” Happy with the answer John let out a quick “Yay!” before turning to the front as the teacher coughed, silencing most conversations in the room.

Class wasn’t particularly eventful and most students had turned to each other to continue their conversations when the teacher had stopped speaking. When the bell rang for recess, the students scattered, crowds leaking from the buildings and scattering to wherever they hung out. Karkat sat underneath the tree, content with his apple and the silence while Dave sipped juice from a bottle, eyes hidden behind his dark sunglasses, “So where do you even live, can’t expect us to have a proper gathering with all of us being lost in the dark” Dave asked as Karkat returned from disposing of his apple core “Something tells me you’ll lose the address or get fucking lost anyways so since I’m so damn benign I’ll walk you through this after school, meet me by the back gate when we get out.” Karkat replied, scowling at Dave. “Cool, lemme tell Bro about this and maybe I’ll spend the afternoon chilling with you instead of at my puppety hell back home.” Dave took out his phone and began pestering Bro.

TG: bro

TG: staying with karkat this afternoon

TG: ill call when i need a ride back

TG: you cool

TG: ill take that as a yes

TG: thanks bro

TT: Little shit, while I was going to fucking let you go anyways, the moment you get back we strife, don’t fucking forget that you’ve had your week’s break

TG: fuck you

TG: fine whatever

“Cool, looks like I get the afternoon off, what do you wanna do when we get to your house anyways?” Karkat just stared at Dave for a few moments before the gravity of the situation finally hit him “How the fuck should I know, you wanted to be friends first so I guess it obviously falls to me to uphold the responsibility of being a good host and not feeding you to the fucking wolves. What the fuck do you usually do in your spare time anyways?” “I guess I just mess around, I dick around on tumblr, I blog, if I’m feeling up to it, I’ll mix music and rap” Karkat hadn’t expected this, from what he knew about Dave he had convinced himself that Dave was the type to run rampant around the neighbourhood, spray painting walls and flipping off cops. “You mind if I ask for some URLs?” Karkat inquired “Sure, I get some traffic through them and one of my comics is pretty well liked by the internets but apart from that it’s just somewhere I can chill and throw up whatever I’m feeling at the moment.” As they rocked up to Karkat’s house, Dave just looked around, it was very similar to every other house in the vicinity, nothing which made it stand out, Dave jerked back around when he heard Karkat apparently shouting at his dad that he had brought home a visitor, a calm voice called back wishing Karkat good luck and fun. Dave grinned at this and followed Karkat into his humble abode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ramblings about me- I have Asperger’s syndrome and Marfan syndrome making me mentally and physically inferior to another normal human being, got diagnosed with Asperger’s 4 years ago after a fight at school and Marfan’s after some genetic testing last October, I’m okay with it really because I try my best to enjoy life no matter how shitty I am. My variety of Asperger’s is more on the end of alternating between emotionlessness, uncontrollable mania, bloodlust, depression and what I assume to be a normal human psyche but I do my best to pretend to be normal when I’m around other people. I recently stopped gaming at around 2 weeks ago because I thought I was relying on that to keep my violent urges down and I needed to fix not delay the problem, I also took up more frequent fanfic reading and started considering writing at that time, I try to rationalise and stabilise myself through listening to music, reading and writing fanfics, watching Youtube and exercise, this one’s a bit long and sorry if you don’t want to hear my life story :::D  
> Fanfic Recommendations- To Seek Asylum is something I would say is similar to RMWT and LOSS but I was reading this one before the others, I had gotten through something like 40% and then had abandoned it due to being distracted by other fanfics but now I’m back to reading it and I’m loving it, the feels, the premise, the Brollux, all of it, I’m just completely immersed in the universe and one of the influences from it is the fact that I’m not a massive fan of John as I see him as an oblivious idiot who inadvertently is an asshole or maybe that’s just me being an asshole … or both   
> Songs- Lights (Ellie Goulding), Warrior (Ke$ha), How Far We’ve Come (Matchbox 20), Someday (Nickelback)  
> grimBleeper 30.7.15


	6. So This Is Why You're Here and Why I'm Fucked Up

“Asshole, if you’re not too busy spacing out, do you want anything to eat?” Karkat called from the kitchen “You mind if I just dig through your cupboards for something?” said Dave as he followed Karkat into the brightly lit room, “Fine, as long as you don’t clear us out” Dave grinned at this and went straight for the fridge instead looking for leftovers. Karkat saw Dave peering into his fridge and facepalmed “Strider, didn’t you just say you were going to look into the cupboard? Why the fuck are you rummaging through my fridge?” Dave took out a tupperware bowl and closed the door “You mind if I take this?” holding out a stirfry, “Fine” Karkat grumbled, taking the food off Dave’s hands and then putting it into a microwaveable bowl. He set the timer on the microwave before putting some pizza he had bought from the supermarket into the oven. He then led Dave up the stairs, past his father’s room and into his, Dave marvelled at Karkat’s room, taking in every detail, from the posters on the wall, to Karkat’s very monochrome dark red bedsheets, there was a bookshelf on one wall, a computer and desk next to the window, it was a pretty spacious room and Dave only realised he had been staring when Karkat pushed past him to grab a chair from another room. Dave moved to the other side of the doorway, in preparation for when Karkat would return, when Karkat got back with a chair underneath his arm, he put it next to the other chair in front of the desk. Karkat sank down into his chair and when Dave plopped down next to him, Karkat handed him the stirfry, Dave grunted a thanks and waited for Karkat to do something.

“You wanna watch anything in particular or do I have to do everything around here?” asked Karkat, Dave shifted around his seat, getting comfortable “Your house, your rules” came the nonchalant reply and Karkat snorted before loading in Pacific Rim.

The movie was fine, it wasn’t anything either of them hadn’t seen before, and the action was still enough to keep them glued to their seats, they talked over the movie during it, Karkat lamenting the wasted potential for romance and Dave criticising the implausibility of the robotics. Nearing the end of the movie, Dave took of his sunglasses, rubbing his eyes after realising that they were a bit dry from all the staring at the screen. Karkat looked over at Dave, ready to sneak a peek at Dave’s eyes and whatever he needed to hide from everybody else. Karkat’s eyes widened a fraction when he saw a sliver of bright red, contrasted by the white of Dave’s eyes but he said nothing of it, he turned back to the movie, pretending that nothing happened. Was it just a coincidence that they both had the same mutation, implausible given that Dave’s fitted more into albinism while Karkat’s one was something entirely different. When the credits had rolled, it was still bright outside, Karkat stretched his arms, silently yawning and then turned to Dave, “That’s the movie done, what do you want to do now?” Dave adjusted his shades “I think I’ll go home now, you come with me just in case we have another get together like this in the future?” Karkat frowned a little “Suuuuuure, why the fuck not, spending time with you isn’t that mind numbing after all, you can at least provide reasonable debate and criticism to a fucking movie, unlike some idiots around here” Dave smiled genuinely at this, Karkat’s cynicism and angry demeanour was actually quite endearing to listen to and even if it was directed at him, he would at least have fun with some verbal sparring.

Dave angled his neck to the side, making a small cracking noise before getting up, Karkat got up and walked past him, leading Dave down the stairs. As they got to the front door, Karkat shouted back to his father that he would walk Dave back to his own home and received the standard fatherly warning about safety. Dave hadn’t stopped smiling the whole time, taking in the quaintness of having a father who was neither mostly silent nor snarky. “Your old man’s pretty cool” “He’s just my dad to me, he’s always been in my life as far as I can tell and he’s mostly supportive of whatever I do” “You should see my bro, he took care of me for all my life and he doesn’t give a shit about me, either that or he keeps all his feelings all locked up” Karkat could see how tis influenced Dave when he was growing up “So this explains why you’re always so stoic and shit, trying to emulate a father your resent?” Dave scratched his leg absently “Not really, it’s just more of a pain to show emotion in front of others, not everyone’s completely appreciative of honesty, seriously the world’s full of more douchebags than most people realise” “At least that’s one thing we can agree on, everyone’s an asshole, it just so happens that we’re slightly more tolerable to each other” “Hey, you’re not as bad as you think you are, yeah you swear a lot and you act angry to pretty much anyone and I can see how that turns people away but you’re a fun guy when you’re doing what you like” “Fuck you Strider, I do whatever I want and you don’t get to psychoanalyse me, I thought you said that’s what your sister did” “Oh man, don’t even compare me to her, when she goes psychiatrist, she’ll use all fancy-shit terminology which I don’t even dare repeat, you’ll know it when you hear it and it sticks in your mind, corrupting you and you won’t even know it.”

Karkat scoffed at this “She can’t be that bad, Kanaya doesn’t disapprove of her and if Kanaya’s willing to give someone a chance then maybe I can tolerate them” Dave chuckled at this “I don’t really know Kanaya but she seems like the type of chick who can handle Rose, Rose capitalises on emotion, she fucking pounces on the slightest slip up but she’s also more extreme than Bro and I are, you haven’t seen her acrobatic fucking pirouettes off the handle, she takes it to the next level as an Olympic-level sport”. Even Karkat was smiling at this point, the mental image of calm Rose doing acrobatics and psychoanalysing people at the same time was too much for even him. “I’ve seen Kanaya get pissed before, it’s not pretty, you wouldn’t know it but even though she gets her perfect marks and everyone either tolerates or likes her, she can definitely hold her own in a fight. Back in our last school, she got suspended a grand total of one time for winning a four way brawl but for a good half-year, everyone treated her like she could snap at any moment, the only friend she got out of it was her crush and they fell out and nobody knows why.” Dave’s eyebrows quirked up at this juicy bit of gossip, “Seriously? Who’d she get in a fight with?” “Fucking hell, don’t mention it to Kanaya, or you’ll find yourself being punched across the room, okay?” Dave mimed a crossing motion with his fingers over his heart. “Ok, that fight? It was initially between her crush, y’know the one she dated, she was a total bitch in my opinion and nobody really liked her except Kanaya, some hipster kid who had recently learnt some basic boxing and thought he could intimidate anyone he wanted to, he had punched his best friend prior to this and some stoner who was just generally creepy and nobody wanted to be around him. I don’t even know what they were fighting over but hipster douchebag tries to punch spiderbitch but right before he gets there, Kanaya just rushes him and kicks him in the head, knocking him down, he hit his head pretty hard and now his stutter’s even worse than before. She then punches spiderbitch herself and knocks her to the ground, finally the stoner just hasn’t moved the whole time and no one knows why he’s holding a knife but Kanaya just kicks him in the groin and he collapses.” “Holy shit, how the hell did she explain this?”. Karkat took a deep breath to continue his story.

“She then dusts off her skirt and calmly walks up to one of the teachers who has been standing there the whole time, and recounts everything perfectly, the dumbass teacher’s just standing there with his mouth open, stunned. So she walks to the next teacher who’s finally recomposed herself and they get some stretchers to move everyone to the sickbay, Kanaya got a few bandages for her knuckles, spiderbitch and hipster douchebag had to be treated for concussions and stoner asshole was sent to hospital with a fractured pelvis. I’ve known her since we were kids and I didn’t know she was this strong, I walk with her up to the principal’s office and she comes out after five minutes and tells me that she’s getting suspended, she was reprimanded for using extreme force but the principal knew that the other kids she put down were assholes and probably deserved it. She just spent the next few days at home sewing and doing some homework, she didn’t give a single shit about the event, she got back to school and then at the end of the year we had to move because the school either saw her as a legendary figure or as someone who was totally mentally unstable.”

Dave just stopped in his tracks, trying to figure out how lady-like, calm, collected Kanaya could transform into a killing machine “Remind me never to piss her off ever again, I don’t want to mess with that” Karkat nodded “Yeah, I don’t blame her for having to move here, that wasn’t an exactly well behaved neighbourhood and she just broke down after there were so many conflicts others wouldn’t let her into, she could only stay outside for so long.” “Has she told Rose this? I’m almost fearing for Rose’s safety, what have you done to me Karkat, why the fuck do I suddenly give a shit about her?” “Fuck off, you’re just having a human reaction about the safety of a sibling, you haven’t had one of those before, dipshit?” Dave grew increasingly alarmed, aware of his emotional outburst “No! Stomach’s tightening, palm’s sweating, I need to calm down, need to calm the fuck down, let’s talk about something else, please” Dave’s voice became shrill at the end, his distress showing clearly on his face. “Yeah, yeah fine, can you pick me up when we go to John’s on the weekend, in case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t drive and I don’t really talk to him” Dave was still breathing heavily but he was slowly composing himself “Ok, ok, ok, yeah, I’ll get Bro to come by your place on our way to John’s” Karkat poked Dave in the cheek and Dave jerked his head back, “What the fuck did you do that for?” “Just checking sure you’re ok, you weren’t exactly as fucking cool as you usually think you are” “I’m fine, just a bit shocked, that’s it” “Fine, you live in these apartments?” “Yeah, Bro owns one and Mom owns another, me and Rose live in Bro’s one though and Mom is usually overseas, saying Rose isn’t fond of Mom is the understatement of the year.”

Dave started walking into the building before turning back “So, yeah, this is where I live, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” “Fine, can I ask something before you go?” “Yeah, what” “The fuck’s up with your massive personality shift when you’re around the others and in front of me?” Dave checked his side, making sure that Bro or Rose weren’t watching him “Fine, you know how Rose has her creepy ability to nearly read minds?” “Yeah, you may have mentioned that every other time you said her name.” “She didn’t exactly develop that on her own, she’s older than I am and she took after Bro in her own way, she developed her skills on me in our childhood and she’s gotten damned good at it” “What, so you’re saying it’s just because Rose is there?” “Nah man, it’s more of that she got Bro’s analytical skills combined with how she used to look up to Mom’s science skills, you haven’t seen Bro, but basically, the other part of his psyche is his complete ability to hide emotions, he’s got it down to a fucking science” “And let me guess, this is what you got from him?” Dave nodded “Yeah, Bro spent more time teaching me to fight and shit and take after him and I guess the way we just hide ourselves is our specialty.” Dave sighed, trying to think of any bits that he missed but was interrupted by Karkat “So it’s just some shitty thing you learnt from your Bro?” “It’s not shitty, man, it’s serious business and it’s kept me out of trouble, the silence either gets me unnoticed or when in one-on-one people get intimidated by someone who never gives a fuck, I grew up with it and it’s stuck with me” “Yeah, that still doesn’t fully answer my question, why do you act or genuine and emotional around me?” “Fuck, it’s … kinda fucking y’know different when it comes to you” Dave rubbed at the back of his neck before continuing “I’ve just met you and you seemed kinda more antagonistic to other people than I was so I thought you were kinda like me in a sense, you didn’t really have anyone to tell about me so I guess I assumed that I could trust you, it’s like looking out all your life for someone to trust but everyone doesn’t get you”

Karkat smiled inwardly at this but settled into a neutral expression “Fucking hell, you could have just told me you were this messed up” Dave almost looked sheepish at this comment “Yeah, I could’ve but you probably would’ve just called me a freak or kicked me out or some shit” “That’s a lot of assumptions of someone, by your admission, who you’ve just met” “True, but you revealed some of your shit so I guess it’s fair that I return the favour” Karkat put a hand on Dave’s shoulder “Listen, if you want to talk about anything, I guess it’s fine if you talk to me, maybe you’ll tell me more, maybe you won’t but if you keep all this shit pent up you’re going to fucking break before then end of the year and then I won’t have anyone to commentate over my movies for me” “Heh, thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow or something, thanks for the talk” Karkat turned away and waved a hand at Dave dismissively “Yeah, whatever asshole, I’ll be up in the library, if you come up with Rose, you’ll probably catch me.” With this, Karkat walked back to his house, contemplating how the conversation could’ve gone differently and replaying the scenarios over and over again, Dave hid his red eyes behind shades and his personality behind a façade, he might be a bit of a tool but at least he wasn’t that much of an asshole. Smiling, Karkat picked up the pace and jogged the rest of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM, explanation for why Karkat and Kanaya moved schools, this universe’s explanation for Dave and Rose’s particular weird quirks, I’m hoping to make the next chapter more Stri-Londe-centric  
> Ramblings about me- I don’t know what else to say on the topic of me I guess, so I’m going to take the lazy route and just list some other subjects that I do, modern and ancient history because it really is a fascinating thing  
> Fanfic Recommendations- SEARED, the first Homestuck fanfic I ever read and it was the one that got me into reading other fanfics, so far it has never been completed but I yearn for the day when it rises again, it’s also got a pretty rad premise  
> Songs- Someday (Nickelback), Light ‘Em Up (Fall Out Boy), What The Hell (Avril Lavigne)


	7. Rose Lalonde, Relationship Investigator

Dave let a deep breath out as Karkat walked away, a great weight had just lifted off his shoulders and it was good to confide in someone who was a pretty good listener. He took the stairs up to their penthouse suite, taking his time, Karkat was pretty interesting to listen to and when he got serious, and there was just something that made Dave believe him completely. He unlocked the door to his home and didn’t even notice the smuppet which Bro pegged at him. The smuppet squeaked when it hit the side of Dave’s head, the plush ass almost dragging his glassed down with it as gravity took its toll. Dave absently kicked it around, dribbling it down the hallway to his room but when he reached the door, he was hit by another smuppet, this time thrown by Rose. Dave still didn’t react and entered his room.

Bro had emerged from his hiding spot in the trapdoor and Rose joined him as they stared at Dave’s closed door “It appears that something is weighing quite heavily on Dave’s mind, so much that he didn’t even react to the high velocity felt assault that we have tormented him so much” “Little man’s probably finally got his emotional shit together, he’ll get used to having someone who actually gives a shit about his feelings.” Rose raised an eyebrow, turning her head to face Bro “And might I inquire as to how you acquired this information?” “First of all, I was a teenager once too and emotions weren’t exactly the best things that happened to me, not everyone can cope with internalising everything, second of all he told me he was going to hang out with some kid called Karkat, last time he went off alone was with John and that helped him, at least initially.” “I see, I am in correspondence with Karkat’s cousin Kanaya, do you think I should discuss this issue with her?” “Your call, kid, I told Dave to break off his thing with John early last time and he didn’t listen to me, you saw what happened to him, I would run a background check on this Karkat but it’s your choice, I don’t get to tell you how to manage others anymore” Rose took out her phone to contact Kanaya “Mhm, thank you for your input, Bro, tell me if he comes out of his bedroom” Bro didn’t bother with answering, instead just vanishing into wherever his office was, probably one of the trapdoors.

Rose went back to the living room where she had set aside a stack of books next to an armchair, next to that was a laptop and headphones, her preferred setup for relaxing when she had finished with her menial homework. She sank back into her chair and put on the headphones, making sure they fit snugly around her ears, Kanaya had contacted her in the time that she had taken to attempt to annoy Dave.

TT: Will you be joining us on Saturday, when we go to John’s for a movie night? I believe that Nepeta will also be joining us.

GA: While I Do Not Have Anything To Do On Saturday, I Will Have To Think About It. Will There Be Any Others Attending The Event?

TT: Yes, as expected Jade will attend due to living in the same house

GA: Obviously

TT: Dave usually comes along to these gatherings, apart from this, that is all I have on the attendees

GA: I See, I Shall Contact Karkat And See What He Thinks About It, He Seems To At Least Tolerate Dave’s And Your Presences

This was familiar to Rose as she had received this message when Dave had arrived.

GA: He Has Not Answered My Query Yet, I Will Update You When I Have Received A Confirmation

Rose sat back, homework was complete, school wasn’t and hadn’t been anything to worry about, life was, as they said, pretty chill. She absently flicked to the next page of the novel she was reading, while the plot was predictable and the setting something that had been replicated over and over again, she would still read the book, or at least skim through it, identifying every word subconsciously and just letting her mind wander. Minutes passed and as they went, so did the pages of the book, flipping over and over, the story was a good one, the emotion was very clearly represented and the subtext was not misused, the conflict was prolonged but not so much that it caused impatience, the story was about to fully unfold and the plots unravel but she was interrupted by the sound of the Pesterchum notification. She frowned slightly but she quickly started smiling again when she saw the jade green text contrasted on a white background.

GA: Karkat Has Told Me That He Accepted Dave’s Offer To Go With Him To John’s Gathering, He Was Just Returning Dave To Your Home And They Will Be Reconvening On Sunday For Further Shenanigans.

TT: Yes, I had seen Dave return not too long ago and according to Bro, it is true that he and Karkat were spending some time together

TT: He was sporting an uncharacteristic pleased smile, I assume this has something to do with Karkat?

GA: Karkat Did Not Complain At All About His Time With Dave So I Too Must Assume There Is Something Going On Between Them

TT: Might I suggest that you needle him further, and I will do the same to Dave, in the hopes of finding out what they aren’t telling us?

GA: This Endeavour Should Be At Least Interesting, Please Wait While I Go To Converse With Karkat On This Topic

Rose closed her laptop and mused over the topic, thinking about how to start the conversation with Dave, not to go too intimidating but not too soft. Persuasive and confiding but not meddling, Rose sighed at the amount of thought she was putting into a simple conversation. She knocked on Dave’s door and received a grunt in return, years of living with Striders had taught her that this meant permission to enter. “David, I am hoping that you would spare some time so that we could simply talk” she called over her shoulder as she closed the door behind her. “Damn, Rose, I didn’t even schedule a fucking appointment, to what do I owe the pleasure of having you down here, keeping me company so I don’t flip the fuck out?” Rose only smiled at this, the rambling was certainly hiding something and it wasn’t as coherent as the standards of what she was used to. “I take it that you are bringing Karkat with you to John’s movie night?” “Yeah, he likes movies and we all might as well get to know each other, why’re you asking?” Dave said, pointing his thumb behind him, indicating a Pesterchum window with John.

“Interesting, this is a topic which I would like to continue, if I have your permission of course” Rose steepled her fingers, peering over the top “Sure, whatever, what do you wanna know about Karkat?” Rose was almost taken aback at how open Dave was being, but it was a pleasant change so she pressed on “Your interactions with him, you spent the afternoon with him and I would like to know how that came to be and how it went” “I just have a few classes with him, biology where we’re partners for the rest of the year, film where he’s kinda a bit of a dork and PE where he’s at least half decent at running around a track” Dave started smiling again, happy to describe his new friend “And what did you do while you were at his house earlier?” “We watched a movie, ate some stuff, y’know just spent some time together talking and stuff” “Is that all?” Dave scratched behind his ear before answering “Yeah, not much really happened but he’s pretty cool, y’know when he’s not shouting but he’s also not being completely silent, I might join you tomorrow in the library in the morning, he said something about seeing you there and I wanna know what he does up there” Rose giggled, covering her mouth with her hand “My my, you have certainly never expressed such an interest when I go to the library in the morning” “Yeah, but that’s because all you do is read shitty psychology books and if I went there you would probably convince me to stay there forever or turn me into some guinea pig or some shit”

“True, this concludes our discussion, I wish you luck with your social endeavour but now I have my own to conduct” “Heh, sure” Dave turned back to his computer then waved absently in Rose’s direction as Rose walked out of the room. She settled back into the living room and her armchair, opening her book once again to pass the times in between conversations, waiting for Kanaya to report back on Karkat’s behaviours. Sure enough, new text appeared in her chat client, attracting her attention again.

GA: Karkat Has Not Really Revealed Anything In Particular That Does Not Correlate With His Earlier Statement Of Uncharacteristically Having No Complaints About Dave

TT: Dave was much more verbose in his description than usual, he specifically mentioned that Karkat was and I quote “a bit of a dork” and in recent memory, the one person he described as this was John back before they dated

GA: I See, Do You Suspect That This May Lead To Them Developing A Romantic Relationship

TT: It is an interesting development certainly and I wouldn’t bet on them getting together so quickly but yes, I do concur with this hypothesis, say, in the next few weeks but no more than a month

GA: Karkat Has Not Acted This Way Towards Others Before So I Am Not So Sure As To What To Expect, I Personally Will Have To Wait And See

TT: Well, I’ll be meeting up with him and Dave at the library before school, you’re welcome to come along if you want to

GA: I Believe That I Will Join You, Either To Talk To You Or Just Observe Karkat’s Interactions, Both Shall Suffice

TT: I’ll see you there, other than that, I have some reading to finish so unfortunately I must sign off for now

GA: Goodbye Rose

TT: Bye

Rose left the room, taking her laptop and book with her, once she had left, Bro pulled his head back up into the trapdoor, closing the door silently. Though Rose was becoming more attentive to how people interacted and reacted, she wasn’t a social whiz, Bro also believed that there was something in between Dave and this Karkat kid and in addition to this, there was the basis for a relationship between Rose and Kanaya, she didn’t exactly hide her constant conversations with her. It was funny watching his children run around, thinking that they were smart when they had a ways to go, improvements could always be made but he had to constantly remind himself that he couldn’t keep interfering with them. He went back to the multiple screen she had set up at one end of the well lit room, feeds scrolling around, showing him national and international news, another documented changes and user traffic of the websites that he owned, another was opened with a friend, someone he had met due to a joint interest in robotics, body-building and horses. He was also the guardian of someone going to Dave and Rose’s school.

He had been in contact with Equius for a few years now, their conversations were something that he found himself increasingly anticipatory of and he found himself genuinely enjoying speaking with him, the topic of robotics wasn’t something that one could just bring up with another person “How do you do, have you seen those new servomotors developed by those students at that university?” “No I haven’t, it’s quaint idea though, the materials needed are completely impractical though it does afford that slightly increased level of finesse” Needless to say, Bro didn’t really connect with most people. They had met as business partners at first, Bro had gone to a robotics convention which he had been invited to due to his abilities with the manipulation of software and coding artificial intelligences or the closest to what people had gotten to so far. Equius had been there because his meticulous nature led to beautifully crafted chasses which didn’t hamper the effectiveness of the robot itself, they had collaborated on different robots for different purposes, one time it was a rapping robot, then a sparring robot, then another rapping robot and then another sparring robot, there were talks of other robots but the two didn’t really make other robots in their spare time.

Equius had gone offline during the time that Bro had popped down to greet Dave so Bro looked at another screen, this time looking over the orders for smuppets and custom robots, it was a lucrative market, even though it wasn’t heavily publicised. Bro could’ve retired any time he wanted and he wouldn’t have acted differently, he would still go about every day, doing what he loved, learning about his field of expertise and messing around with people. He had bales of bubble wrap in the back of his makeshift office, this would often be included with the smuppets, in fact advertising that the smuppets came with bubble wrap was one of the most frequent things he got good feedback on, customers sometimes too embarrassed to talk too much about the smuppet itself. Bro checked his order list and seeing that he had four to finish by the end of the week and ship out, he threaded the needle and turned back to his worktable, ready to work some felt magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7  
> Ramblings about me- As you can tell from the song choices, I listen to mostly rock and pop (feel free to tell me what makes a rock song pop or vice versa, I kinda suck with music) and sometimes electronic, I guess I just like music with a good beat, or violins, love violins  
> Fanfic Recommendations- Unwanted Free Ugly Troll and Loophole, specifically Loophole, Loophole was my introduction into the petstuck universe and it has so far, ever, been the only fanfic to elicit tears from me *spoilers* when Vriska died, I definitely cried, shit was serious business and it’s just amazing and stuff, UFUT is also very good and these are must reads  
> Songs- What The Hell (Avril Lavigne), Whispers In The Dark (Skillet), Rise (Skillet), One For The Money (Escape The Fate)  
> grimBleeper 4.8.15


	8. 2 Guys 2 Shower Scenes

Bro woke up the next morning, his eyelids heavy, he scratched the back of his head absently before realising that he had fallen asleep at his worktable. He blearily picked his face up off the sheets of felt and rubbed at the bottom of his chin, where stubble had begun to start growing again, he would probably wait a few more days and then shave it. Bro got out of the chair, doing a quick stretch of his legs before darting across the room, through the trapdoor and into the bathroom, it was still early in the morning and he hoped that he wouldn’t wake Dave and Rose up, Dave would be pissy and Rose would, well still be Rose. He brushed his teeth and splashed cold water on his face until he was certain that he was fully lucid, he stepped into the shower, turning it as hot as it could go and just stood there looking up, the water streamed down his face and body, relaxing the muscles that had been tensing in his sleep. He brushed his hands through his now damp hair before turning off the shower, he scrubbed it with shampoo and washed down his body with soap, careful to not let the bar of soap slip out of his hand and cause unknown chaos. Satisfied, he turned the shower on again, scratching at his scalp and threading his fingers through his hair until he was satisfied with the cleanliness, having dirty or oily hair was just something he didn’t put up with.

Bro, towelled himself off and shrugged on a muscle shirt and loose black cargo pants and once he had made sure that the floor was dry and cleaned his shades, he vanished into the kitchen, preparing some toast, bacon, eggs and orange juice. The bacon was sizzling on the pan by the time Rose entered the kitchen, she had long since adapted Bro’s morning schedule into indicators for her own. Rose nodded a silent morning before going into the bathroom, between this time and Bro’s shower, the steam had been blown out by the fan and there was only the slightest sign of foggy mirrors. As Rose turned on the shower, Bro checked the clock on the microwave, it was nearing time for his children to go to school and unlike Rose, Dave, that little shit, was still in his room, probably asleep, Dave hadn’t done this in a while, he had it done it a lot back in his childhood when he had many major projects or things that required him to constantly think about. If Dave was becoming too obsessed with this Karkat kid, he guessed that Lil’ Cal would pay Dave a few more visits, dude is chill as.

Flashstepping over to Dave’s room, Bro slipped past the door and put Lil’ Cal right next to Dave’s face and opened the curtains, letting the morning sunlight shine down on Dave’s face, Bro poked Dave in the face and when Dave started to stir, Bro absconded, leaving only Lil’ Cal to keep Dave company. Bro leaned just to the side of the door, patiently awaiting the inevitable puppet being pegged straight out the door following with the door being slammed, Dave wasn’t exactly a morning person but Lil’ Cal sure was, smiling through everything. Lil’ Cal slid down the wall, having just left Dave’s hand and Bro swept Lil’ Cal back into his arms and disappeared into his office, propping Lil’ Cal back up onto the chair in front of his computer. Rose was already in the kitchen finishing off her breakfast by the time Bro had returned, she didn’t look up at him, unsurprised that he would pull the same stunt over and over again but it wasn’t a prank, nah those things get old, this was a culture, a ritual, family shit that nobody could every deny.

Dave shuffled into the bathroom, conducting his morning routine as usual and went to the kitchen, Bro and Rose looked unreadable as usual but there was a slight bite in their gazes, like they were worried about what Dave would do and they were silently warning him from doing anything stupid. Dave continued on to the counter to start making toast, nothing was really that different, he brushed off Bro and Rose’s stares as just him being overimaginative, he pulled out his phone to check his messages, there wasn’t anything there but it was at least something to do while waiting for his breakfast to finish. He took a drink of apple juice, straight from the bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, Bro walked towards the door, the silent signal that they would be leaving soon and Rose brushed down her lap and followed him. Dave grabbed his bag and kept the toast in his mouth and after quickly checking that he had everything, he walked after them.

Once they got to school, Dave opted to follow Rose up to the library and was met with no resistance, Rose, after all, had figured that he would go with her to meet Karkat. Dave trailed slightly behind Rose, following her down the aisles of books before finding Karkat, sitting in a chair with a book on what looked like biology. “’Sup” “Hey, douchebag,” “Hey yourself, whatcha reading there?” “Random shit, why do you want to know?” Dave brought a chair over and leaned over the back of it, peering over Karkat’s shoulder “Mutations huh? Cool stuff” “Hmm” Karkat grunted, eyes glued to his book. They sat like this for a while, Dave just reading along with Karkat, observing how his antagonistic friend turned the pages, his fingertips just curling around the page and dragging it over with the same finger. Some of the nails were slightly sharp but his thumb and middle finger had their nails trimmed neatly, the targeting of these two fingers reminded Dave of the surgeon’s grip or whatever, probably contact lenses, was what Dave guessed.

“You wearing contacts?” Dave asked, angling his face towards Karkat, still leaning over Karkat’s shoulder. Karkat’s eyes widened a bit before going back to their normal size, ”Yeah, eyes are a bit fucked up” he murmured. Dave caught Karkat’s surprise but didn’t think much about it, “Longsighted or nearsighted” “Bit of both” “Mhm, how long have you had them for?” “Since I was ten, they aren’t a big deal anymore” Dave knew how that felt, during the rare times where he had to go without his glasses, contacts would be used to disguise his bright red eyes, some people didn’t mind them but there were always assholes out there, mocking him because he was different or because they thought he was some kind of devil or both. Karkat turned his head back to his book quickly when he realised that Dave was still staring and this alerted Dave to his own behaviour, coolly turning to look at the book as well. When the bell rang, Rose left first, already prepared for the signal for homeroom, Dave followed Karkat as Karkat shelved his book, tracing a nail down the row of books until he found the right spot. The walk to their homeroom wasn’t long so this gave Dave some time to talk “Rose was asking me about you last night”, if Karkat was alarmed by this, he didn’t show it “Yeah, and what the fuck did she ask about me?” Dave shrugged, abridging his recollection of the conversation “She just asked about what we did, and how we knew each other” “Whatever, and why did you decide to bring this up with me of all people?” “Iunno, just wanted to talk to you I guess, anyone ever tell you that you’re not that bad to talk to?” “Once or twice, Kanaya and Dad are pretty much the only people who can constantly stand me”

As they settled down next to Rose, John and Jade, Dave went to talk to John while Karkat awkwardly fidgeted with his hands, occasionally glancing up only to glare at the people around him but they shared his apathy and didn’t really react. First period started and he and Jade split off from the main group, going off to their English room, Jade was, for lack of better words, completely fucking hyperactive, she went on and on about what she did in her holidays and to Karkat’s chagrin, it wasn’t the most horrible drivel to listen to. He got slightly annoyed when she continued even when the teacher walked in, assigning the students their first of what was to be many homework essays. The rest of the day was unremarkable, he didn’t really learn anything new about Dave, Rose was aloof as usual and John just fluttered about, sharing the same energy as Dave but less interested in him. At lunch, he spent some time with Kanaya, just looking into the sky with her, quietly muttering conversation while John and Jade chased whatever they could. Dave had dropped down next to him, asking if he could watch with them and Kanaya allowed him, quickly stopping Karkat from even objecting. Dave had settled next to Karkat, arms folded behind his head, expression unreadable even at this angle, Dave didn’t join in into their conversation but it was nice listening to them, Kanaya was like a more caring Rose, both sharing similar enunciation while Karkat just had that bite to it that kept Dave hooked. Neither boy really thought much about it, both in their own worlds, even those worlds were intertwined.

Karkat had jogged back home after school, the sun made it slightly warm and the jog had left him a bit sweaty, he got into the bathroom, slipping off his clothes and discarding them in a pile near the window before stepping into the shower. He heard footsteps, outside the door and his father called through “Son, how was your day?” “It was fine Dad, we got our first bits of homework but it should be all fine” Karkat shouted back. His father walked away, presumably off to do fatherly things. Karkat bowed his head as the water finished heating up, knowing that his face would start to become uncomfortable with the heated water, his thick coarse hair draped down in front of his face, slightly obscuring his vision. He threaded his hands through them, watching as the curls and crests dissolved into individual strands, the water went down his back and legs, highlighting his thighs and calves which were still slightly tense from the jog. He idly scratched at the side of his chest, fingernails leaving uneven but light scratches along the side, he then watched the water pour down his hair, scratching his thighs next, outlining the protruding muscle and feeling it bulge where it met his ass.

Karkat turned off the shower and swept his hair out of his eyes and started applying shampoo to it, soon his hair was a mixture of white and black, the suds flicked onto the glass door and surrounding tiles by Karkat’s furious scrubbing. He squeezed some raspberry scented body wash into his hand, he wasn’t into smelling nice or using things just because they smelled nice but this soap was admittedly pretty relaxing. He coated his torso and chest with it, stretching his arms around to his back to cover his shoulder blades, his muscles around his ribcage tensed as he did this and once Karkat was finished, he went to work on his arms, slicking the soap over them, he didn’t really work out but he thought he was decently muscled, not that anyone would ever know since he constantly wore his sweaters and jumpers. He wrapped his hands around his thighs next, first coating the outside, scrubbing a bit more at the red scratch marks and then bent over to reach his shins , he finished this up by slicking his hands up the inside of his legs, ending with his thighs, he shivered a bit as it neared his ass but he quickly got over it.

Karkat turned the shower back on, letting the still warm water cascade over him, once again covering his face with his usually curly hair. He stayed like this for a few minutes, blindly but surely scrubbing his body with his palms, making sure that no soap remained, he turned off the shower and got dressed, putting on a fresh t-shirt and tracksuit pants, summer wasn’t exactly the season to wear a sweater but it wasn’t like that was a compulsion or anything, just his taste. Karkat went down to the kitchen, witnessing the rare moment when his father would cook at a time that wasn’t dinner, his father was in the process of making a stir-fry and Karkat settled down in a chair before getting back up and retrieving his laptop from where he had dumped his bag. He opened it up to his notes, where he had written down what was for homework, it was just a basic essay, the teacher wanted to reassess her students and they were given free reign over their topic of choice. The lack of constraints caught Karkat unaware at first but he flicked through other essays he had written, romantic plays, tragedies, character development and interactions in movies, applications of C++ in mathematics. His father passed by behind him, looking over Karkat’s shoulder at what he was doing, satisfied that Karkat was keeping up with his studies, he patted Karkat on the shoulder “Good to see you working so diligently, lunch is ready, don’t wait too long otherwise it’ll go cold” “Sure, dad, I’ll see you at dinner” Karkat’s dad just ruffled Karkat’s hair and walked off to his room.

Karkat still couldn’t decide what to write on so he flicked through Youtube the moment his father vanished upstairs, he came across some random educational videos and settled on mutations, the one thing that stuck with him throughout every school day. The book he had been reading was still interesting and that was something that he could ramble on and on about, he set to work, starting up a mindmap and listing some points he could make, minutes ticked by and he went to grab his lunch. He guessed that this was the school routine that he would get used to for the next two years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXCUSE ME, but I am terrible with anatomy, correct me if you can. Also, I would like to point out I obviously don’t have any familiarity with every single male human body and I most definitely do not plan on smut, totally. Now excuse me while I try not to repeat verbs constantly.  
> Ramblings about me- For those of you bothered to care about Marfan Syndrome, basically, in a nutshell, I have elongated limbs and digits, the roof of my mouth is a bit higher than normal, I’m a fair bit taller than my ancestry would indicate, I have weakened muscle development and an ineffective cardiovascular system … stupid mutation (no other family, extended or immediate, have it). Also got a f**ked up curved spine and protruding lung but those aren’t that big.  
> Fanfic Recommendations- Silence Is Golden, damn good fanfic, characterisation is as good as it gets, it genuinely makes you side with the protagonist and share the feels of wittyy_name, he/she/they/it also wrote other amazing fanfics like The Heir And His Knight which is also johndave and the side story of The Heir And His Knight, Of Hope And Heart, both are amazing love stories and they definitely do not disappoint.  
> Songs- One For The Money (Escape The Fate), Disturbia cover (The Cab), If Today Was Your Last Day (Nickelback)  
> grimBleeper 6.8.2015


	9. Dave, Be Elsewhere. Rose, Be Here. Bro, Be In The Past

Dave had his own essay to work on, twirling the pen between his fingers before nibbling at the end. He caught himself doing so and removed the pen, making sure to not let his mind wander off, it wasn’t easy to do so however, he reminisced about lying in the grass with Karkat, and Kanaya but who was counting? Karkat just lying down on his back, hands on his stomach, his eyes focused forward, hmm, those eyes, Dave seemed to remember that they were brown but past the pupil, the eyes were slightly brown, probably just brown contact lenses. Dave snapped back to reality, looking up at his monitor, there were no Pesterchum messages so he continued on his pursuit of a suitably entertaining topic for his homework essay. He softly rapped to himself along with the music playing on his headphones, he looked out the window, watching the peaceful skyline and enjoying the steady beat. Comparison of rapping with slam poetry wasn’t a bad topic, he guessed, both were a favourite pastime of his and he didn’t think the teacher would know the difference. He set on penning down some ideas, putting them in dot point form on another page.

Elsewhere, Rose was proofreading her essay, having already completed it at lunch, she had watched Kanaya just being at peace, for a while but most of her attention was devoted to completing her homework so she wouldn’t have to do it at home. Satisfied with the grammar and spelling, Rose closed the book and lay back on her bed, closing her eyes. She knew that she wouldn’t fall asleep, not with the cup of tea that lay half empty on her bedside table, resting was a luxury after all and falling asleep in the afternoon wasn’t something she planned to do. Kanaya was an interesting person to be around, just as confident as she was but without the bite of passive-aggression that came with Rose’s default tone. She carried herself high but not haughty, it was actually quite admirable, she wasn’t intimidating but caring, not patronising but more maternal, damn if she wasn’t also attractive.

Rose imagined Kanaya’s lips, the way that the deep green lipstick contrasted with her pale skin, the pronounced cheekbones and slightly pointed chin, Rose wasn’t always exactly keen on other people and while she had been indifferent to other people, her developing intimacy with Kanaya was something completely new. She sighed, thinking of the clichés of romance novels, teenage romance was often a topic which involved much angst and pondering and she dearly hoped she wouldn’t just become a character in what Dave referred to as “shitty wizard fanfics” even though she had explained to him, countless times, that these specific ones had nothing to do with wizards.

Her novels were quite educative on that matter, describing the more intimate matters quite viscerally, the carnal games that were played on the bed, on the floor, against a wall, the list went on. How would it go, she wondered, smile settling on her face as she set to imagining Kanaya, slipping her dress off, running her hands down her body, walking oh so seductively towards Rose, settling her hand onto Rose’s chin as she pushed back, lowering Rose’s body to the bed. Cupping her face and then leaning forward, letting their lips meet, tongues pushing against each other for dominance.

A blender went off in the distance, shredding what was probably a doomed puppet, and shook her out of her fantasy, it annoyed her but this was how the world went and she should have foreseen it. Her attention fully diverted from reviewing her essay, Rose picked up her cup of tea and finished it off, draining the cup and got off her bed. She walked to her computer, signing onto Pesterchum and only seeing Dave and Karkat online, Dave was probably working on his essay, so she wouldn’t bother him with a conversation and Karkat seemed … adverse to human interaction, not per se asocial but seemingly antisocial.

Rose walked to the kitchen, if she didn’t have anything to do, she might as well make sure the living space was tidy, the males did housework, that was undeniable, but their lack of steady timetable and orderly schedule made it so that Rose could never count on anything. Sometimes they would go for days, obsessively minding over every speck of dust and straightening every folded corner, other times they could just ignore everything, hiding up in their rooms. Dave stormed past her, visibly angry at the intrusion in his personal space by the now deceased felt smuppet. Rose grabbed a dustpan from the cleaning supplies closet, conveniently located between the cabinet full of food and the other cabinet full of unknown ninja death traps. Though a few brooms and mops tumbled out, having been haphazardly thrown in, Rose deftly snagged one anyways, making a mental note to chastise Dave later, as he had been the one to last access them.

From what she could observe, Dave had at least spent some time cleaning the blender, meticulously taking out the blades and removing every stray shred of fabric, there were still scraps on the floor and Rose sighed at this, one day she would teach all of them how to mind a house properly and that would be a day of reckoning. Rose calmly swept them into the dustpan and deposited it into the rubbish bin. Her phone buzzed from inside her pocket, retrieving it, she noticed a message from her mother stating that she would be coming home in the next few weeks, no specific date, typical. Rose knocked on the trapdoor and Bro dangled down, only the lower half of his legs still latched onto the top of the ceiling.

“’Sup” “Mother has called, she says that she will be arriving home in the next few weeks” Bro nodded, but this was indistinguishable from any other head bobbing from this angle “Sure, any dates?” “No, mother is being infuriatingly vague as usual, her obstinateness is as ridiculous as it always was” Bro made an upside down frown “Kid, you have issues, your mom doesn’t hate you, there isn’t any passive-aggressive war between you, in case you haven’t noticed, she actually cares about you” “Yes, yes, you have attempted to explain this to me countless times and how many times have I rebuffed you, she is the one being difficult, but we will see this time, maybe there is hope for the human race. I assume there is currently no alcohol where she can see?” “And that would be correct, anything else?” “Yes actually, why did Dave blend a smuppet?” Bro’s frown persisted “Is this some kind of shitty joke or did he actually do it again, I swear I didn’t drop any smuppets on him … this time” “I see, what are you doing up there?”

Bro hopped down from the ceiling and brushed down his pants “Why do you want to know, you haven’t asked about this stuff in ages, what prompted you to question it this time?” “I am currently unoccupied with homework” “Go do what you normally do” this wasn’t an order though, just Bro’s way of saying he really didn’t give a shit about whether he would reveal his actions or not. Rose shrugged and went back to her room, hoping to search the web for news or look for some book that was still unread. Still bored, Rose tried to get back into her prior mood, quickly replaying the imaginary situation she had constructed before being so rudely interrupted.

Imaginary Kanaya’s hand moved to Rose’s breast, brushing her thumb over her nipple as she squeezed lightly, Rose gasped a bit as she mimicked the action in real life, she continued on though, reconstituting her thoughts into a solid picture once more. Kanaya’s other hand moved to her pussy, lightly rubbing the edges, teasing her. Rose arched her back, still careful not to make noise lest she disturb the other occupiers of the apartment. Rose tried to raise her hips into Kanaya’s fingers but she was pushed back down when Kanaya leant forward, depressing Rose’s head back into the pillow as well. Kanaya pushed her fingers into Rose, flicking against the clitoris seemingly absently and Rose struggled to stifle her moan, this continued for a while, Rose just fingering herself in real life but content with the fantasy she was concocting, she climaxed but bit down on her other hand to make sure that her small scream wasn’t heard.

In the other room, Dave was finishing up on his essay, his headphones had barely left his ears, shutting out all noise to make sure that he would never be disturbed, ever. He continued to softly rap to himself, sometimes switching over to singing and sometimes just to do dramatic readings of random articles, being serious was all well and good but fuck, if it wasn’t fun to just take random shit out of context and make it hilarious. He filed the essay away into his book and then proceeded to mess with his blog, editing and uploading dramatic readings of political commentary and celebrity tweets.

Bro had just finished talking with Equius, their mutual enjoyment of My Little Pony was something that came up surprisingly rarely and Bro had organised an outing to a restaurant, to get to know each other better. Equius had appeared to be slightly oblivious that this as Bro’s way of asking him out and Bro didn’t mind, if Equius wanted their friendship to develop into something else, then it was up to him. He reminisced about the other times he had tried to do relationships, not all of them had ended prettily but others weren’t that bad. His most recent , with Roxy, had ended with them both still being friends, damn, their apartments were literally right next to each other and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Roxy was a sharp woman but they had disagreed over Roxy’s drinking addiction and Bro had gotten a little bit overprotective of their children before slapping the vodka glass from Roxy’s hand, they had argued, she had left, they filed for divorce but time dulled their wounds.

Another was Jake, Jake English was hot, too damn hot, like he got pretty much everyone back in university except for Roxy, Jake had been confident, full of arrogance and bluster in whatever he could manage but his hidden side was that he was ridiculously ignorant to other things. He was strong willed, but stubborn enough to be slow. There was definitely an element of physical attraction, they didn’t share any classes with each other but they both attended the same gym and when they bumped into each other in the university hallways, Dirk had asked him out to a club where Dirk had been working as a DJ. Jake had accepted, and after Dirk’s session and a few drinks, they had gone to Dirk’s room on the campus where one thing had led to another which led to them sleeping with each other and going out for a few months before one day Dirk realised he just wasn’t satisfied with Jake emotionally, he had woken up and it hit him head on. Jake liked guns, Dirk found them barbaric, Jake loved adventure, Dirk liked being at peace, Jake liked shitty movies, Dirk had taste. That was that and they separated, weeks later, when Dirk was going through that same hallway, he had seen Jake with his tongue down the throat of one of his classmates, all Dirk did was keep up his stoic mask and give his ex-boyfriend a thumbs up and Jake returned a wink. Bro smiled a bit at the memory of the confused girl’s face at their exchange.

Between Jake and Roxy had been an Englishman called Caliborn, they had met online on a forum discussing puppets, he was unlike Jake, no sense of gentlemanliness, a rough, coarse man who, unlike Jake, also shared Dirk’s hobbies. His personality was an acquired taste, underneath the abrasiveness, he was genuinely caring but to most he was an insufferable psychopath. The first time Dirk had seen him, he had a perpetual vicious grin, teeth showing, their conversations had eventually chipped away at both their facades, showing their more internal sides. Two months later, Caliborn visited Texas during his break, Caliborn had shown great interest in guns, assault rifles instead of Jake’s pistols and while he spent much time at the firing range and had dragged Dirk with him after class, the outing still kept Dirk’s attention. Caliborn didn’t have Jake’s vicious enthusiasm towards just shooting, when focusing on the activity, he was completely focused, looking down the sights at the paper target and unloading clip after clip, the stock rocking his shoulder back with every shot. Conversely, he was nothing but caring when he could see Dirk, his acerbic personality spent on everything else. That was when Dirk had learnt how to shoot a gun, he had good enough aim and dexterity to fire a handgun but never moved to the heavier weapons because one day, Caliborn had had to leave for England again, his holiday over, leaving only their joint project with him, Lil’ Cal. Dirk had continued to speak with Caliborn over the internet but the friendship which had evolved into an unrealised mutual attraction went back to a friendship and when Caliborn disappeared completely, so did their relationship. Sometimes Dirk had wondered if he should have visited Caliborn back in England but he assumed that the other had moved on.

So far, Bro’s conversations with Equius were going on the same road as they had gone with Caliborn and this time, they lived in the same country. If all went perfectly, Bro would see Equius soon at the robotics convention next week, yeah, he would like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not female, so do correct me if you feel like it, this alternate universe makes it so that everything goes as smoothly as possible, totes unrealistic but deal with it
> 
> Ramblings about me- Even though I’m a Taurus (May 17), I did not purchase a Tavros shirt from whatpumpkin, instead I got a Sollux shirt, a Vriska shirt and a Gamzee shirt because I guess I find it easier to cosplay as those guys, also I kinda fit some fan interpretations for those characters (tall, thin)  
> Fanfic recommendations- The Douche Next Door, is it anything special, not really, on a scale of 5, it ticks at every box at a 3.9, just under real damn good. I don’t rate it relatively high but it is consistently one of the best fanfic that I’ve read, don’t pass it by if you love some good ol’ johndave, the story really flows, it’s got some damn good angst and that first person perspective is something I wish I could do but I tend to stick with third person + thoughts  
> Songs- If Today Was Your Last Day (Nickelback), Ever After (Mariana’s Trench)   
> grimBleeper 8.8.2015


	10. Fangs, Fussy or Otherwise

Karkat woke up on Saturday from atop his desk, head resting on his arms that were crossed in front of him, covering the completed essay. His father had crept in during the night and draped the blanket around him, careful to ensure that he was comfortable but not to disturb him from his sleep. Karkat blinked as the sunlight barely crept in through the windows, his computer had also been shut down after he had fallen asleep, he made a mental note to thank his father when he next saw him. Karkat leaned back in his chair, cocking his head from side to side, eliciting a cracking noise before Karkat got up to stretch, his brain went on autopilot, folding the blanket while Karkat tried to remember the events of last night. He remembered finishing his essay, checking it over to make sure there were no spelling and grammatical errors and the occasional white out on the page testified to that.  
Next he had probably gone onto Youtube to watch whatever videos that came up on his subscriptions feed, that would have taken a few hours if he hadn’t been listening to them in the background while he worked, Dave had pestered him, sending him some shitty rap lyrics and Karkat remembered swearing, a lot, Dave hadn’t seemed to take offence and Karkat recalled being slightly disturbed by that but had brushed it off. There was also something about him laughing at one of the shitty webcomics that Dave ran, the blatantly ridiculous setting just nearly sending Karkat into a fit of giggles. He had also spent a good twenty minutes scrolling through Dave’s other blog full of selfies, most of which were well lit and Dave at least understood not to make ridiculous duck faces.   
They had talked about if during that time, Dave just rambling on and on about the significance of each scene, how the art of the selfie was an evolutionary line, starting from cave paintings to statues to oil paintings and now to selfies. Dave had eventually left the conversation, claiming that he was off to start selling t-shirts on his website showing said evolutionary line. Sure enough, a few hours later, Karkat had checked the website out of curiosity and the shirt was on the first advertisement on the left. Karkat grinned at this memory before walking down the hallway to the bathroom, he was still unconsciously conducting his morning routine, the selfies of Dave had been of many things besides Dave.  
Some showcased whatever restaurant’s food that he was consuming, others of new clothes, even some at a theme park with Rose, John and Jade. Curiously there were a few that were of Dave shirtless and those were the ones remembered most clearly, the slim but still noticeable muscles that ran down Dave’s arms stuck out, they went up his shoulders until they dipped into his chest, pectoral muscles slightly stretched because of the pose and the defined abdomen. Karkat had checked himself after that period of rampant ogling, Karkat didn’t always check out other half naked guys but he was pretty sure that what he saw wasn’t undesirable.   
Karkat choked at this thought, hawking out a glob of phlegm and toothpaste into the sink, he thumped himself in the back a few times to clear his system and then went back to brushing his teeth. Stupid sexy Strider, plaguing his thoughts with his selfies. Karkat rinsed and spat out of the water, once again making sure his throat was clear, Karkat was going to have to ask him on his glasses, he had never seen Dave without his signature shades and that bit of red that he had seen was still itching in the back of his mind, being fucking annoying with its mystery. Karkat knew that he would be going to John’s house today for some shitty movie night and he had told his father yesterday.   
Dave hadn’t told Karkat where John lived and had promised to drive by with Rose to pick him up, so Karkat presumed that he would go by his daily routine before being contacted by Dave, Rose or Kanaya, he had finished his homework but his father expected him to keep up with the syllabus and his research. So Karkat went down to the kitchen to grab breakfast, he didn’t find his father down there so Karkat downed a quarter of a box of cereal, some milk and went back upstairs. He was looking through the news online when he heard his father come back home, so Karkat went downstairs. “Morning dad” “Good morning, son” it was good to see that his father wasn’t so flustered, he had some kind of issue with other people but maybe that was just because Karkat was around him at those specific times. “Thanks for covering me last night” “No problem, next time, make sure that you fall asleep at your bed, it isn’t healthy to sleep like that, I may have to enforce a bedtime if this becomes a routine thing but I believe that you are responsible enough to make sure this doesn’t happen.” Karkat managed a grin despite being caught “Yeah, yeah, sure dad” “Good, is there anything else you wanted to talk about?” “Nah, just wanted to say thanks” Karkat’s father nodded and set to putting away the groceries.  
Once Karkat had finished cleaning his bowl and cup, he went back to his room and shrugged on a hoodie despite the summer warmth, he also pulled on a pair of sweatpants, after all, he was only going for a morning jog, comfort was paramount. He ran past his father, shouting a quick goodbye before pulling on some sneakers and running out the door, he exited the cul de sac, his familiarity with the area increasing the more he ran it. A quick turn took him to a park where there was a mother playing with her children at some kind of playground, Karkat ran past them, shutting out the noise as he kept up the pace, he got past the school, eerily quiet compared to its usual hustle and bustle. He breezed past a few shops and upon reaching a bench at the side of the street, he sat down to catch his breath. As he sat with his head bowed, eyes tracking the legs of the people who walked past him, he rested, when he brought his head up, a mane of blonde hair and blue highlights caught his attention, he turned his head marginally to get a better view of the familiar face and saw Vriska heading up the footpath towards him. He wasn’t in any hurry to be anywhere even though anywhere would be better than around spiderbitch, he stood his proverbial ground and tried not to show his surprise when Vriska sat down beside him.   
“Well, well, look who we have here” Vriska kept up her trademark smirk but it wasn’t as vicious as Karkat had remembered it “Up yours, Serket, don’t you have anything else to do than bother us nerds?” Vriska pouted slightly but knowing her, it was probably just feigned “Aren’t we friends, Karkat? C’mon, cut me some slack, tell me, how’s Kanaya? Also, didn’t I apologise for teasing you about your nerdiness?” “One, no, two, no, three, no and go fuck yourself” “Wow, you’re being a real asshole today, aren’t you, Karkat?” “No, you just obviously remember me wrong” Karkat turned his head away in a little fit of defiance as Vriska wrapped her arm around the back of the bench. “Whatever, I’m gonna go up to Kanaya’s place and in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve really tried not being a bitch, whether you can appreciate it or not, it doesn’t affect me” Karkat shrugged “First of all, you weren’t just a massive bitch, you were a massive bitch crashing through the atmosphere at ludicrous speeds and impacted us causing a massive fucking emotional crater which may or may not have led to an extinction event of all positive impressions of you. Second of all, I’m going to fucking make sure you don’t relapse at Kanaya’s place, for her sanity and mine” “Haha, lead the way glorious leader” Karkat grumbled at this, doing his best to ignore Vriska’s mocking nickname for him when they had to do a teamwork exercise back at his old school.  
Karkat got up and walked back the way he came, Vriska walking alongside him, he noticed that she wasn’t practically staring down her nose at every person, to the uninitiated, she would seem like a moderately decent person. Vriska was tapping at the sides of her thighs to some beat that only she could hear, she hadn’t seen Kanaya in a long time and she almost regretted every interaction with her, she had callously ignored Kanaya’s attraction to her and had fawned after her after the incident. Looking back, past Vriska was a massive asshole, not that she would admit it of course, she wished she could’ve done everything better, been more friendly to Kanaya, treat her as an equal, this was a kind of new opportunity though and might be a second first impression. People still were scared of her but she no longer oozed intimidation, it didn’t really get her anywhere before and turning over a new leaf might at least not get everyone to hate her, even if it did contradict with her old personality entirely.  
Vriska started tapping her foot absently as she waited while Karkat knocked on Kanaya’s door, Kanaya’s sister, Porrim, answered. Porrim was friends with Vriska’s cousin, Aranea but hadn’t exactly liked Vriska, she hadn’t seen how Vriska tried to change herself and Vriska couldn’t really blame her for it. “Vriska, I hope you are not here to start trouble with my younger sister.” Vriska was almost startled when Karkat answered for her, “Yeah, sorry about bringing her here but apparently she’s not as much of a bitch as she used to be, you mind if we just talk to Kanaya for a bit?” Vriska managed a wave from behind Karkat as Porrim rolled her eyes, reluctantly letting them in “Fine, but if you so much as slightly irritate Kanaya, I’m kicking you out, through a window”  
Kanaya had come downstairs after hearing the commotion, “Oh, Karkat, it is good to see you, what brings you here this morning?” before Karkat could answer, Porrim piped up “He also brought Vriska, holler if you need me” and then walked down the hallway to go back to studying. Kanaya froze up as she saw Vriska, the long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes bringing back memories, not all of them good, if she was startled at Vriska’s appearance, she didn’t show it. Instead Kanaya, narrowed her eyes and balled up her fists, though they were hidden from view “Vriska, is there any reason as to why you would be here?” “Hush, fussyfangs, can’t a girl visit her friend?” Kanaya sighed and shook her head, if Vriska was at least going to act civil, it was the least Kanaya could to do to return the sentiment, she unclenched her fists and clasped her hands in front of her “I suppose, do come in, we may have much to discuss”  
Vriska bounded past Karkat, eager to talk to Kanaya once more, this left Karkat confused but he still shut the door behind him. Karkat followed the two girls up the stairs back to Kanaya’s room where Vriska sat cross legged on Kanaya’s bed, chatting animatedly about what her school was like now, Karkat sat in one of the bean bags at the side of the room. “So Gamzee isn’t as crazy as he once was, he’s kinda mellowed out and he’s gotten some awards for his art, the teachers don’t mind his face paint as much as they used to because they’ve seen how good he is, seriously, even the principal has commended him in front of the school, weird, huh? Last time we heard about him was when he nearly got expelled” Kanaya only politely nodded, though inwardly she was quite amused by the evolution of others’ characters.  
“Eridan’s stopped being such a douchebag, apparently after you downed him, he started to do some community service, something about being a “waste of society’s resources”, he’s not particularly popular but not everyone hates him anymore, Feferi’s even stopped pushing him away even though we both know he was a little turd before. “ “And how about you? Have you changed since I last saw you?” Vriska flicked her hand around absently, gesturing vaguely “Well I haven’t insulted you since I got here, have I? I promise I’m a better person than I used to be, I already told Karkat, yeah I was a total bitch back then, but c’mon, give me another chance here” sighing, Kanaya realised that Vriska was right, she had changed for the better.  
Just as Kanaya opened her mouth to speak, a notification made a pinging noise from Kanaya’s computer and Kanaya excused herself before checking the message. Rose appeared to be trying to attract her attention, having sent a message about how Bro was going on his shopping rounds already and asked if Kanaya wanted anything in particular.  
TT: Bro will be going shopping soon, is there anything you require for tonight’s festivities?  
GA: Nothing In Particular, I Shall Bring My Own Beverages If I Have Need Of Them  
TT: Of course, bye  
GA: Goodbye  
How was she going to handle this, in one day, a weekend for Jegus’ sakes, she would have to try and balance being with her new crush and her old crush, looking back Vriska was still as attractive as she used to be and the personality change was definitely something positive. On the other hand, Rose was someone Kanaya could connect to on all levels, someone who she was confident she could share personal things without fear of recourse. Picking Rose seemed like the obvious choice because they went to the same school, Vriska had her chance, and even with this new Vriska, the old Vriska had left a lasting impression, something inside Kanaya had just snapped.  
Karkat was feeling slightly awkward from where he was, the two girls had been talking amongst themselves and he had hoped that he had left his old life behind, but evidently it kept goddamn chasing him wherever he ran, “Hey, Kanaya?” “Yes, Karkat?” “I’ve already brought Vriska her, you mind if I go back home, I have some shit to do” “Of course I don’t mind, I’ll see you tonight” “Sure, Vriska, don’t piss her off” Vriska only nodded at this and this continued to disturb Karkat, the old Vriska would have stuck her tongue out or something as irritating as that, what the fuck was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ramblings about me- Copping out of this one with the easy one, my classpect is Thief of Heart, my personal interpretation of potential god tier powers would be draining others’ souls like Shang Tsung. This would of course lead to me getting increasingly stronger, being able to permakill things would also be a thing because I would be directly removing souls from the cycle of rebirth. Strife specibus is scythe kind which is amusingly fitting for my classpect.  
> Fanfic recommendations- Shout out to Spectrum by the amazing CassanderRoshack, if you haven’t read their amazing work, be warned, the tags mean exactly what they mean and it is dark, as in I was genuinely disgusted by some of the things written but these are harsh realities and I do commend them for writing it, amazing writing, very convincing storyline, also I believe part 2 (Nicotine) is still being updated, so be sure to check them out if you haven’t already  
> Songs- Rebirthing (Skillet), Misery Business (Paramore), Not Gonna Die (Skillet)  
> grimBleeper 10.08.15


	11. Convergence of the Assholes

Vriska rocked her legs back and forth from where she was sitting, listening to Karkat go down the staircase “So, how about you? I’ve flapped my mouth a bit and I think it’s about time you told me about your new school” “I am fitting in quite fine, the teachers are accommodating and the students are … energetic but not hyperactive, it is a positive environment if school can be said to be that” “Met anyone new? I know you’ve got Karkat around but you have to have some other friends, right?” Kanaya internally debated how much to reveal to Vriska but it wasn’t like she could do anything with the information, right? “My closest friend currently is Rose, she shares quite a few of my classes and shares some of my interests, she is quite reserved and formal usually but has displayed the rare silly streak which is quite endearing”

Though Vriska would have normally been jealous of this, she was happy for Kanaya, it was good to her that her friend was doing so well, even in her absence “Haha, you guys sound like a good match, anyone else?” Kanaya slightly blushed at this, worried that Vriska had figured it out but continued “Her sibling Dave is interesting, he is quite verbose like Rose and I but in a different way, he spends much of his brainpower organising his thoughts into lyrical or metaphorical form instead, his mental agility is great but the efforts are more amusing than impressive. Then there are John and Jade, John is the more oblivious one and is quite conventionally attractive, he used to be in a relationship with Dave before that broke off.” “What happened?” Vriska was now lying down to listen, she had sometimes listened to Aranea but those spiels were boring “Rose did not tell me but they are still friends, Jade has slightly darker skin than John and is much more physically energetic where John is only emotionally upbeat.”

“That sounds great, but I’ve got to go now, it was nice seeing you, Kanaya, but so many irons in the fire, and this time, it’s not me messing with people, bye!” Vriska said, patting Kanaya on the shoulder as she brushed past her, heading downstairs and out the door, as Vriska walked down the footpath back to wherever she was going, Kanaya shook herself out of the shock of Vriska’s briskness and waved out the window, Vriska just gave a mock salute back at her without looking. It was at least good to hear that Vriska had genuinely changed, the difference was still hard to understand, and how could one change their personality so much in so little time, but stranger things have happened.

Though she would have liked to talk more with Vriska or try to get to know her better, Vriska was gone now and there were still projects to be completed. Kanaya reviewed the pictures of Rose, on her computer, she had previously asked Rose for measurements of her body so that she could make clothes for her, Kanaya hadn’t done this in a very long time, not since she last punched someone anyways. Kanaya’s mother had a well-paying job as a fashion designer and while Porrim was beautiful in whatever she wore and didn’t care so much, Kanaya had taken up her mother’s passion and skills.

Kanaya’s mother preferred to use pencil and paper, personally sketching every detail of both her subjects’ bodies and the clothes themselves, Kanaya found it easier to use Photoshop. Kanaya looked over the slight curves in Rose’s chest and started sketching on a different canvas, putting down rough outlines, she moved down to Rose’s abdomen, where it became slightly thinner and then thickened at Rose’s hips, continued to curve outwards slightly along her thighs and then back inwards past them. Though Kanaya wasn’t particularly adept with technology or drawing with a mouse, her shortfalls were made up by the tablet that Sollux had gifted to her after she punched Eridan, its stylus was perfect for what she needed but Sollux refused any thanks.

Meanwhile Karkat was jogging back to his house, rounding back into the suburbs, away from the shops and the people, they said that you couldn’t run from the past and they might have been right, but holy fuck, he didn’t expect it to catch up that quickly, at least Gamzee and Eridan weren’t in any danger, Kanaya and Vriska were at least amicable, maybe the past wouldn’t be so bad if it was peaceful. Looking back at who he was though was an entirely different matter, seriously, whiny, bitchy Karkat, always complaining and swearing, being needlessly conflictive with other people. Fuck. That. Guy. Karkat was less ashamed of his past self, though there was plenty of that, and more absolutely abhorred himself, some days, he hated himself and others he just tried to separate past him and current him.

Karkat had continued up the stairs, still deep in thought, philosophically, he could process everything, he could describe everything, but he couldn’t tell anyone, Kanaya knew half of it and he was thankful for that but telling others about everything that he felt just wasn’t in the cards. He lay face up in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to think about anything else that he could berate himself for, but found that everything had already been mentioned. Frowning, Karkat sat up and went over to his computer, he decided to check the news and even if there was nothing special but the usual political bullshit, it was still amusing, for something that was supposed to be so sacred, it was a complete failure and it was almost sad how there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

Turning is chair to the right a bit, he rummaged through his stack of DVDs, trying to find a suitable one to pass the time from now to whenever Dave would pick him up, As he traced his finger down the stack, he noticed that the order had been messed up, he took the DVDs down, putting them in piles according to genre and then alphabetical order, he knew this wasn’t as good as watching a movie, but he was compelled to do it, movies were serious business.

Dave turned the handle to John’s house, hands and arms full of shopping bags with various snacks and sodas, John had hurried to the front door once he heard the commotion, doing his best to relieve Dave of all of the bags. Dave unloaded an armful onto John and then redistributed the weight of the remaining groceries, they went to the kitchen to put them in their proper cupboards and shelves, after all, preparations had to be made first, shit would just be wrong to go to the supermarket in the middle of a movie.

They soon went to John’s bedroom to gather beanbags for the impending gathering, but because there weren’t enough, Dave slipped in and out of Jade’s room, nabbing a few. He closed the door as a plush toy flew to the area where his head was moments ago, with the circle of beanbags now perfectly arranged in front of the TV, the boys proceeded to the kitchen where John’s eldest sister, Jane was stirring some batter. Though John had grown sick and tired of the creation of such confections, the activity still brought to him emotional memories and other times it had a calming or meditative effect, he just couldn’t resist pitching in to help Jane.

Dave had absolutely no idea about baking cakes, even after the years of coming and going to John’s house, the flour covering the bench top, the precise science of measuring ingredients, it all just went straight over his head, he could do some pretty basic stuff but when it came to convection and confections, he couldn’t make heads nor tails out of it. He could see the science and reason between each individual action, like how baking a cake in an oven worked, how the combination of flour, water, egg, sugar and a metric fuckton more white stuff came to make batter but put that shit all together and it made his head spin.

This meant that Dave was once again relegated to “sitting on the sidelines while occasionally fetching ingredients from the fridge or cupboard and sometimes cheering for the oven” duty, Jane gave him a warm smile when she finally noticed him and Dave nodded back, the Egberts were always ridiculously friendly, unlike Bro and Rose, freaking hell, friendly wasn’t the word he would choose for them. That wasn’t even counting John’s grandfather, Jake who was terrifying, exceptionally manly and was also unnervingly polite, his grammar was something out of the Victorian era but it was a testament to the Egberts’ weirdness that they fully understood him and could easily translate.

Last time he had been here, he gave some weirdass lecture about the benefits of adventure and learning to use guns, it was all very fascinating and Dave would have lied if he said that he hadn’t listened to most of the stories but the guy was just so … disconnected from the present. Dave really didn’t know if Jake was just senile or if he was a genuine badass, the photos seemed to indicate the latter with a younger Jake having been in bodybuilding, posing with the ridiculous muscles with other oiled sweaty men and as he had aged into his mid-30s, he had toured the world, having played enough roles in movies to live comfortably. There was also that one time when they went down to some firearms store in the city and had messed around there for the day, Bro had been a bit worried about Dave, especially because he had been 8 at the time but they had quickly smoothed that over.

John’s father wasn’t in the house currently but he would return at around 6pm, though he usually told others that he was a simple baker, he was the regional manager for Betty Crocker, John’s father had taught John and Jane about cooking but didn’t have many opportunities for it anymore, his work was more of the financial administrator kind and less hands on stuff. John had once asked him if he ever regretted it but John’s father was too proud to let something as simple as his interests get in the way of his work, after all, it had been inherited from his adoptive mother, who he remembered fondly, the picture was one of the only things John’s father ever framed, and it hung in the hallway, looking over the family with a compassionate expression.

Jade was finishing up on some of her biology notes, she usually kept to her room because she sometimes had an issue with falling asleep randomly when she was by herself, this meant that when unsupervised, she would stick to her bed. Luckily, when she went out, she usually had John or Dave by her side, talking to her, keeping her awake, Dave’s presence in the house was helping her with the notes and if she had anything to ask about, she could just talk to the people downstairs. A mass of squiddles lay next to her, tentacles all jumbled up, people tended to be split into two groups on them, some believed them to be a representation of eldritch horrors and abhorred their existence and others just considered them a children’s toy, nothing more. Jade had dreamed that they were the former before, it was suitably terrifying but the notion still amused some people, but she was firmly in the camp that believed to be cute harmless toys.

She had been speaking with Tavros for a bit before he went down to the local animal shelter to volunteer, he loved animals and, in his words, it was “uhhh, good work experience”. Jade could understand, it wasn’t easy knowing that there were animals that were in need out there, abandoned by their owners or just wild ones hurt in accidents, she would probably ask Tavros if she could go with him next week. Her textbook was to her right as she absently flicked through it, tracing her fingers across each line as she read through it, careful not to miss anything, she would of course compare it with John’s later but it was better to get it right the first time.

She checked her watch, wondering if it was time to pick up Karkat and Kanaya, and sure enough there it was, 15:30, she pushed herself off the bed, launching from the head to the foot of the bed, clearing the full length with a single push. She bounded down the hallway, sliding into the living room where she turned to the kitchen and nearly barrelled into Dave. “Dave, it’s 3:30 now!” “You’re off by a few seconds, but cool, imma go call Bro to get him to pick me, Karkat and Kanaya up, I’ll be back in a bit” Dave slipped around Jade, patting her on the shoulder before taking out his phone as he dialled Bro.

“Yo, Bro, it’s time” Bro’s voice was unemotional as always, wavering slightly above and below monotone so that people could still listen to him without wanting to slam their heads against the nearest wall “Sure, sure, comin’ round right now, sit tight little man” and he hung up without waiting for an answer. Bro had stuck around the shopping centre and had been looking around the new releases for DVDs, sure he could’ve ordered online and have them delivered faster than they were released commercially, but there was a certain sentiment to just sifting through the discs, when he got the call, he flash-stepped out of the store, weaving through the queues unseen and unfelt.

His white van pulled up outside John’s house moments later and Dave got into the passenger seat, tugging on his seatbelt even as Bro pulled out of the driveway “You still haven’t told me where Karkat and Kanaya live, you’re going to have to either give me instructions or punch it into the GPS” “Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell you, turn right once you get out of here”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, don’t diss Bro’s van, I was originally going to make it a ute (pickup truck) but I couldn’t be bothered doing that, also vans are serious business for transportation of heavy goods and they’re pretty nondescript, Bro has other more prestigious and flashy cars but he keeps them around because either he’s found them at cheap prices and revamped them or they’re old cars that he likes, I suck with cars so I’m not gonna put up examples, also I may or may not have f**ked up on some of the characters, forgot that I already had Jake so I had to tag him and Grandpa Harley, also I forgot a bunch of mentioned characters  
> Ramblings about me- You may or may not have noticed but this main series isn’t the only fanfic that I have written and certainly isn’t the only one I plan to write, I’ve got a (Equius <3 Aradia, Aradia <3 Nepeta) fanfic in production right now and I plan to write a Equius Vriska fanfic where Nepeta was killed by Gamzee and Vriska wasn’t killed by Terezi, both of these won’t be humanstuck but instead AU divergence, don’t expect them to come quickly because I really only write these other fanfics on the weekend  
> Fanfic Recommendations- Fuck You … like To Seek Asylum, I never expected to enjoy one of the more obscure ships like KarkatxMeenah as much as I did with BroxSollux, but I loved it, another humanstuck AU and it is absolutely glorious, there are so many beautiful moments and situations, woven together into an emotional tapestry, also it has Meenah as a major character so I have a bit of a bias towards it ::XD   
> Songs- Not Gonna Die (Skillet), Turn Off The Lights (Panic! At The Disco), What Hurts The Most (Musicstuck), Haunted (Taylor Swift)  
> grimBleeper 13.8.15


	12. Say Con Air, One More Time Motherfucker

A notification pinged in Karkat’s taskbar, alerting him to a message from Dave, the bright red window flashing up over the bottom right corner of his screen, he flicked to the Pesterchum window which had a single line of red text

TG: bro, door now, bring your shit

Sighing, Karkat slung his bag over his shoulder, making sure that he brought his laptop and his DVDs with him just in case. He jogged down the stairs, yelling over his shoulder “Dad, I’m going to a friend’s place for some time, I’ll call you if I’m staying over there or if I need a ride back” “Have fun, son” came the encouraging reply, Karkat wasn’t sure if his father was excited that Karkat was leaving or if he was genuine, best not to dwell on that for too long.

If his father’s motives weren’t disturbing enough, the nondescript white van with two shady shaded guys driving it was the last straw, Karkat started internally freaking out until Dave turned towards him and jerked his thumb backwards at the door. Karkat pulled aside the door and slipped in, settling down on one of the benches, Dave was looking around the seat at Karkat, waiting for him to sit down “Do up your seatbelt, dude, don’t want to get fined for this shit” “Ok, I’m doing it right now, where does John live?” “Not too far from school, ‘bout the distance from you and the school, only in a completely different location” said Dave as they passed the front gate of the school, Karkat bounced a bit at the speed hump and the corner of his mouth quirked up when he saw Dave’s sunglasses jump up a bit while Dave’s expression remained unchanging.

They pulled up outside another two-storey house, the model seemed to be very popular to whoever built in these suburbs, and Karkat got out of the van, sliding the door shut and making sure not to slam it while Dave slammed his nonchalantly. Bro leaned out the driver side window before saluting and driving away, presumably back home, Dave led Karkat into the house, both of them taking off their shoes before proceeding down the hallway where John, Jane and Jade were waiting for them with the cake. “Surprise!” they yelled and confetti rained down on Karkat, he noticed that Dave had anticipated this and had gone to the side the moment he had noticed them, Karkat glanced at Dave, unsure how to react before a snake dropped on him.

Karkat looked to the side, unshaken by the sudden weight on his shoulders before flinging it away with a shriek when he saw what it was. John and Jade had bent over laughing at his reaction and Karkat was still quivering as Jane picked up the plastic anaconda and patted him on the shoulder before putting it away in the living room. “Now that you’ve had your proper introduction to those two, you wanna come with me to drop your bag down somewhere?” asked Jade, dragging Karkat by the hand back to the living room where Jane was putting the snake back into a cupboard, Karkat was still too shocked at his reception and absently complied with Jade, putting his bag down next to the TV stand.

Back in the kitchen, Dave and John were sweeping up the paper scraps off the floor and putting it into the rubbish bin, John was still grinning and when he looked back at the cake, he was glad that none of the confetti had gotten near it. The icing hadn’t been put on it because the prank had taken a bit more time to set up so the icing had been neglected, well, at least it would be on by the time Rose and Kanaya got here. John didn’t like cakes, but he did like ice cream, the idea of icing was still like anathema to him because of its affiliation with cakes, he wouldn’t dare touch it, Jade had brought a still Karkat back to the kitchen and Jane had followed, casually piping the icing before looking over the cake and then resettling it in the middle of the bench top.

They heard the door open again and this time Rose and Kanaya entered the room, Kanaya apprehensive looking around the room, probably having been warned by Rose while Rose just smiled at her gathered friends, amused that John could stand being in the vicinity of a baked good. “It is good to see you all, John I hope that you won’t freak out if I tell you that there’s a cake right beside you” “Hehe, it’s cool, Rose, I helped make this one and I guess it’s mostly for Karkat and Kanaya” “I see, old traditions die hard” While Rose talked to John, Kanaya had slipped next to Karkat “I take it that, by your frozen expression, something happened before we got here, if so, do you mind revealing what it was?” “Snake, ceiling, fucking confetti” “I … see, I take it that you were the victim of one of Egbert’s pranks?” “Yeah, should’ve expected it though”

Jane had pulled out a cake knife and had been dividing up the cake, John not taking any but Rose and Dave accepting their shares “Karkat, how much would you like?” Karkat shrugged, thinking it more polite to not specify “I’ll have some, I’ll get seconds later” “Sure” and Jane handed over Karkat’s portion on a paper plate “Kanaya, and you?” “Apologies, I am sure that is a lovely cake but I am a vegetarian” “That’s cool, do you want something to drink?” “No thank you” Jane continued smiling as she cut out her bit and motioned for them to go to the living room, shooing them out so that they had room to talk.

John was bent over, already loading a DVD into the PS4, Jade had settled into a beanbag, starting on her cake, Kanaya and Rose had sat down on the couch on one side and Dave and Karkat joined them there, after John had finished fiddling with the disc and the music on the main menu loaded, Jane flopped down on the beanbag next to Jade. As the introduction played where Nic Cage walked through the rain, brawling with some thugs, Dave flicked a piece of cake into John’s hair “Egbert, not cool dude, playing Con Air already? Thought you could resist yourself” John wiped it away and stuck his tongue out at Dave “Con Air’s a timeless classic, Dave and don’t forget it, I thought it would be something to ease into the other movies, after all you were going to do your “ironic” commentary on it anyways” Dave only grunted at this, going back to eating his cake.

Dave didn’t mind having to commentate over Con Air all over again, after all, Karkat hadn’t experienced the miracle yet. He knew that John would be touchy if he did it out loud so he leaned his head towards Karkat to mutter it to him, Karkat was fully absorbed into the movie, paying attention to every little move that the characters made on screen, not actually aware that Dave was making snide comments at the scenes but finding himself smiling whenever he heard Dave’s voice. They had just gotten to the bit where the prisoners had commandeered the airplane when he heard Dave softly singing Let’s Start A Riot, this went on throughout the whole scene until Cyrus stood in front of the assorted prisoners and Dave started calling him Walter White.

Movies tended to be something Karkat took seriously but Dave’s ridiculous commentary just added a layer which made everything laughable, even the scene with Pinball’s corpse and Billy Bedlam where it would be morbid if not for the fact that Dave started comparing it to slinging dead babies and seemed to seriously contemplate the physics behind throwing dead babies out of airplanes, the potential for sumo wrestling in cargo holds, then throwing in a “ooooooh” at the pipe sticking out of Billy Bedlam’s chest at the end of the fight and making jokes about being heartless and other assorted terrible puns. Karkat found himself rolling his eyes at them even if he enjoyed it, Dave seemed to pick up on this when he continued his sarcastic remarks.

Garland Greene seemed to devolve into different characters when reinterpreted by Dave, he seemed to change nearly every time, ranging from the delusional paedophile to Heath Ledger’s Joker and even Benny from Fallout New Vegas. Karkat grimaced at some of the jokes which crossed the line but by the end of the movie, he had formed an opinion on Con Air that it was probably much better with Dave’s shitty commentary. Nic Cage’s acting wasn’t convincing, the accent grating on the ears but he could see John’s point of view that this was more of a cult classic than a definitive action movie.

Karkat had pushed at Dave’s face to get him out of the way and this only seemed to make Dave chuckle, Karkat wandered through the hallways, trying to find a toilet, his eyes constantly wandered just in case Egbert tried to set another fucking trap. Every doorway could hide a bag of flour, but thankfully none were found, this didn’t stop Karkat from checking underneath the toilet seat for ketchup packets in a paranoid fit. When he left the bathroom, Dave was leaning against the wall, waiting for him “John’s off to go make dinner, you staying for the night or should I get Bro to drive you back?” it wasn’t every day that Karkat got the opportunity to spend time with tolerable people and it couldn’t be that bad he guessed “Nah, you assholes seem ok for now, don’t fucking prove me wrong, Strider” Dave’s smile widened “You won’t regret it, dude, shit’s gonna be so unreal, you haven’t seen John or Jane’s other food yet have you? It’s damn good, better than what Bro makes, that’s for sure”

While Karkat had his reservations about the qualities of others’ food, he might as well reserve judgement for when he tried it. He took out his phone, fingers swiping until he found his father on his contacts list, his father picked up after a few rings, obviously expecting him to call “Hey dad, I’ll be staying over for the night, I’ll call you later” “Stay safe, Karkat, have fun, also, do try to not swear in front of other people so much” “Ugh, fine, bye” “Bye, son”, as Karkat tucked the phone away, Dave turned his head towards him, having heard the conversation. “So what was that about not swearing?” “Shut up, dickwad, you haven’t fucking earned your manners privilege yet” “And what do I have to do to get such an honour” “How about go fuck yourself?” Karkat snarled, annoyed that Dave had been listening in on his conversation with his father.

“Haha, how scandalous, what I do in my spare time is none of your concern” Dave’s voice lowered some as he whispered into Karkat’s ear “Unless you want to join me” before he ran back down the hallway to the living room, leaving Karkat just standing there. What the fuck did he just say, did he just fucking say that, who the fuck says that to a random person, Karkat realised the tips of his ears and his cheeks had gone slightly red but he ignored this as he sprinted in Dave’s general direction. He found Dave trying to act nonchalant, cutting out another slice of cake and Dave didn’t turn around at the noise of Karkat, barely flinching when Karkat slammed his face into the cake.

Dave calmly lifted his head up, face covered in icing but emotionless façade back up, he licked a crescent around his lips to clear it of icing and just stared at Karkat until they both broke down laughing, Dave was bent over, hands on his knees as Karkat leaned against the table to prevent himself from falling over. Dave patted Karkat on the shoulder before going to the bathroom again with Karkat in tow, Jane noticed this and called out after them “You guys better finish the cake, nobody’s going to eat it after your face gets smashed straight into it” Dave flashed a thumbs-up before exiting the room.

Dave pulled off his sunglasses then grabbed one of the towels and wet it before wiping down his face, Karkat forgot what he was doing here but damn if it wasn’t satisfying getting to do that to Dave, he could stand there all day pretending to be such a cool kid but Karkat got to see the other side. Dave looked up from the sink, the tips of his hair slightly damp, and tilted his head from side to side to give Karkat a good view of his whole face. “How does it look, still got cake on me?” Karkat was going to answer that there was some under his chin when he noticed Dave’s eyes, he felt his eyes widen as he tried to process it, he blinked and then looked back into Dave’s eyes, checking that he wasn’t hallucinating.

“I seriously doubt that I’ve got cake in my eyes, what’s up?” “Y-you have red eyes?” Dave crossed his arms, preparing for what was usually the same reaction every time “Yeah, so what, born with them” “Hey, I’m not saying they’re freaky or anything, just … odd that someone else has red eyes, is that why you wear your shades all the time?” “Nah, man, I used to wear a different pair of shades because these babies are light-sensitive as fuck, these ones were given me by John, ‘pparently he got me the ones that Ben Stiller wore.” Karkat only continued staring into Dave’s eyes as he tried to process this information, Dave poked him in the cheek and raised an eyebrow inquisitively “You said something about “someone else” with red eyes, you seen anyone else with eyes like these?”

Karkat stuttered a bit before getting out a quick “Wait right here” and running for his bag and the cases for his contact lenses. Dave went to the side as Karkat washed his hands, making sure that every bit of cake and dirt was removed lest it cause infection. Karkat’s hands shook for a bit, what were the fucking odds that there was someone else with eyes like his, judging from Dave’s skin pigmentation, it was more likely that Dave’s were from albinism but Karkat’s were bright red as well, some people had seen him as anathema for it, others indifferent, it was just usually easier to pretend to be normal. Screwing back on the cases for the contact lenses before standing up straight to look up into Dave’s eyes “To answer your previous question, yeah, every fucking morning”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven’t watched Con Air in I think … maybe a quarter of a year? Either way I had to rely on the wiki and Wikipedia for the information.  
> Ramblings about me- My typing (and sometimes speaking) quirk is sometimes hissing (on double s’s), censoring some of my profanity like f**k and s**t, last bit is the emoticon which is :::) because I wear one pair of glasses and secondary lenses above those because of my f**ked up eyes, also it’s slightly awkward not typing in my quirk but the characters I’m writing don’t censor so I can’t either  
> Fanfic recommendations- In the same vein as Coming to Terms, Just Go With It is another amazing shipping fanfic, still a highschoolstuck AU but focusing more on the troll dancestors, specifically Cronus or as Hussie describes him as, “the worst character in Homestuck”, like Eridan, I consider him to be an interesting character only if he’s well written just like in this fanfic. Has some of the more popular dancestor ships like CronKri, Gillfronds, NachoShip (?) and MeulinxKurloz, also I just realised that he updated Just Go With It, so excuse me while I read chapter 21  
> Songs- Haunted (Taylor Swift), Daft Punk Medley (Pentatonix)  
> grimBleeper 14.8.15


	13. Freaking Out Ain't Any Language I've Ever Heard Of

“Huh, never noticed that you were like me, why’d you cover it up?” Dave was surprised at this but he wanted to at least get to know Karkat a bit better if they were gonna do this kinda thing. “Are you fucking telling me, that you’ve never had some piece of shit just walk up to you and accuse you of being unnatural or being evil just because of your goddamn eye colour?” “Yeah, sure, motherfuckers don’t usually last long afterwards, got picked on a bit in primary school and got beat up a few times, Bro taught me to fight back and the next time those assholes tried to pull that shit, I let every teacher in the playground see them harassing me before I broke one guy’s arm and kicked the shit out of the rest of those idiots”

Karkat’s mouth hung open, ok, Dave was weird to say the least but he didn’t expect him to be able to just fucking snap at someone. “And you were surprised at Kanaya’s thing?” “I guess we’re all hiding our little surprises, us weirdos somehow attract each other or some shit” “Yeah but you were so fucking hung up on Kanaya being violent?” “I didn’t really expect her to be capable of that kinda thing, either way I’d still rather act like a normal person than go, your cousin took three people to town and got idolised for it? Yeah, been there, done that, how the fuck would I know if you were going to flip out right there and then?” “Shut up, dickwad, how’d you get red pupils?”

A blonde eyebrow rose and this time Karkat could see the muscles at work, propping it up “Born this way, did you expect Bro to crash into a truck full of chemicals and then I started developing some mutant shit? Nah, runs in the family, Bro’s got orange eyes, Rose has a light purple and Mom’s got pink, we lived with it all our lives and none of us are exactly ostracised from society” “Wait, you’re telling me that Rose’s eyes are supposed to be purple? What the fuck, how come I didn’t notice at school?” “Same as you, contacts, while society’s got a fair share of people who are decent and accepting there are always assholes, like a motherfucking mould creepin’ in on my sandwich, your eye colour genetic?” “Dad has pretty normal brown eyes, don’t know what’s up with mine, nature’s a fucking bitch about explaining this, doctors tried to look me over and have done gene testing but as far as they can tell it’s just random”

“Cool, you gonna put your contacts back in or can we tell Rose that she doesn’t have to put up with hers’ anymore?” “They’re a bitch to put back in, so nah, might as well invite Rose into the freaky eye colour club” Dave went back to the living room and spotted Rose leaning against Kanaya, he went around the back of the coach and bent down, putting his head right next to Rose’s “Yo, sis, you can take your contacts out if you want, either way, you might wanna come round to the bathroom, got some interesting shit you might wanna see” As Rose got up to follow Dave, evidently Kanaya had heard Dave as well, following along just in case said interesting thing involved Karkat.

“So Karkat has an unusual eye colour as well, that is … interesting, the red is very beautiful, more beautiful than yours, Dave” “Wow, thanks for the compliment, just telling you that it looks like nobody will mind you taking off your contacts any time soon, unless Kanaya’s got somethin’ to say” While Kanaya had noticed that Karkat was off to the side with his red eyes in the open, she had also noticed Dave’s lack of sunglasses and how their eyes looked remarkably similar, the coincidence uncanny. “I have no objections to this, it will be interesting to see what you really look like, Rose” Rose patted her on the arm before going back to the living room to get the case for the contact lenses.

Rose’s actions were much more precise than Karkat’s, completing the hands washing and plucking of contact lens much more efficiently than Karkat, she looked at her reflection and blinked a few times before turning to Kanaya “And then there were three” “I see, might I guess that “Bro” also has a unique pigment to his eyes as well?” “You would be correct, his are orange though you would never see it as his glasses seemed to be fused to his face these days” “And that is where Dave received that habit from?” “Yes” Kanaya only nodded at this, still unfazed by the revelations because of her familiarity with Karkat. Karkat and Dave were only watching the conversation now and Karkat would have left if Jade hadn’t poked her head in, eyes scanning the room inquisitively.

“Why are you guys all holed up in here? John’s waiting for you guys to pick your movie, it’s your turn now” she paused when she reached Karkat and she turned back to Dave, making sure she wasn’t mistaken “Huh, red eyes, cool, but that doesn’t excuse you from holding us up, time’s running out and we don’t have an infinite weekend as cool as that would be” Dave and Karkat slipped past Kanaya as they followed Jade, Dave had an idea of what he wanted to watch, Karkat could go next if he brought anything, so he took down a slightly dusty DVD case for Pulp Fiction, movie was a damn classic and pretty much anyone could appreciate it, even if just for the jokes.

When Dave and Karkat had left, Kanaya decided to bring up the topic with Rose, having noticed that Rose’s behaviour around her was alarmingly similar to the differences in Vriska from pre to post beatdown “Rose, is something going on between us?” Rose flushed slightly at this, betraying her immediate reactions “Of course not, is it because of my eyes?” Kanaya sighed, her suspicions confirmed, she pressed on though, needing to get a confession if she wanted to work this out “No, but throughout the movie, I felt your eyes on me instead of the movie, as I did not consume any of the cake I assume that there wasn’t something on my mouth”

Oh there was something that Rose wanted to be on Kanaya’s mouth but she was still wary about what came out of hers “Fine, yes I was staring at you, so what?” Kanaya didn’t need to mince words, she had gotten used to speaking directly when she needed to, using authority and sternness to get an answer out of someone without flourishing rhetoric “Are you attracted to me?” While Rose tried to calm herself down and think of a sophisticated retort, the more emotional side of her pulled ahead, answering in her stead “Yes” she murmured, eyes looking to the side of Kanaya’s head and the blushing making itself even more visible.

Rose was alarmed at the confession, worried that Kanaya might just brush her off or ignore her, she tried to regain as much composure as she could, doing her best to keep a stable voice “And if I asked you to go out with me, would you?” “I believe in proper romantic first impressions, and I would make time for such a beautiful person” and Kanaya leant forward, lips just off of Rose’s before stopping, silently asking for permission. Rose nodded slightly and Kanaya closed the distance, pushing Rose against the sink, head tilted slightly as her lips closed around Rose’s. The kiss was something that Rose could have gotten lost in forever, the soft, warm sensation making her head float as she wrapped her arms around the back of Kanaya’s neck, she was pulled deeper into the embrace as Kanaya snaked her arms around Rose’s hips, pulling her towards her and soon Rose overcame her surprise and started moving her lips slightly along with Kanaya’s.

Kanaya separated first to let Rose catch her breath, she was still smiling from the kiss and she let her forehead rest on Rose’s “Maybe I will get that second first impression later” Rose could only grin at this at Kanaya’s proposition. “We’ll see about that later, would you like to return to the living room to see what movie the boys have picked?” “Or we could stay here and keep one another company, how does that sound?” Rose perked up at this, only managing to say “Great” before Kanaya closed in again, turning whatever she had left to say into a contended muffled groan.

The opening credits rolled as the blocky letters spelling out “Pulp Fiction” scrolled onto the screen, the restaurant scene wasn’t something Dave had anything to say about, and Quentin Tarantino didn’t exactly make linear movies so he found it easier to keep silent, just in case Karkat hadn’t watched the movie before. It quickly went to the next scene, with Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta in the car, driving along to wherever they were going, to the uninitiated, this scene could’ve led to any number of situations, especially with the seemingly innocent discussion of French burgers. Karkat’s eyes widened slightly when he saw the two men go to the boot of the car to get guns, realising that this was probably going to be the movie’s tone, violence covered by genuine conversation.

Karkat wasn’t any specialist in what ballpark giving a foot massage to someone was but he was quietly arguing with Dave along with the characters on-screen about the intimacy of a foot massage, Karkat taking Jules’ side that it didn’t mean anything but only if it was meant that way and Dave taking Vincent’s side, pointing out that, apparently, Quentin Tarantino had a foot fetish and this was obvious. John shooshed them as the two men entered the apartment, Vincent heading around and into the kitchen while Nick Fury with an afro approached a man who looked like a certain Youtuber. Dave went on to explain the implications of the “Big Kahuna Burger” and how the director used these generic names in some of his movies.

Whatever Karkat was expecting, he certainly wasn’t ready for the over the top acting and Jules’ mocking of Brett, he found himself cracking up along with John and Jade over Jules nonchalantly eating Brett’s burger and then cheerily asking for his “delicious beverage” Karkat had heard of some of the lines through memes on the internet but looking at them with context just made them so ridiculous, the laughing carried out throughout the scene, especially at Jules’ heated interrogation of Brett “What ain’t no motherfucking country I ever heard of, they speak English in what? “What?” “English motherfucker, do you speak it?” “What?” “Say what again one more time motherfucker, I dare you, I double dare you” Karkat had bent over by this time, Dave patting him lightly on the back to make sure he didn’t choke.

Karkat wiped a tear away in the middle of Jules reciting Ezekiel 25:17, realising the gravitas and implications of a gunman stepping away from the body before he just stared open-mouthed as Vincent and Jules gunned down Brett, he almost thought the guy near the door was shot before he realised that no one who got shot just slid down with their hands up and with no bullet wounds. The mood swing was ridiculous but Karkat could see why Dave had called it a classic. Karkat instantly recognised Bruce Willis as he sat behind an anonymous, ear-ringed man, telling him about throwing a boxing fight and he lost track of their conversation before Dave started to repeat the last scene to him, making sure to swear as much as he could, Karkat started tuning out the TV to listen to Dave before he realised that Jules and Vincent had come back.

Most of the movie was enjoyable, though Karkat was slightly irked at the consumption of cocaine and heroin, whatever the schools had taught him about illegal narcotics made sure that the wouldn’t even go near that shit and his suspicions were confirmed when Uma Thurman overdosed on the heroin, having snorted it, it was obvious from the way she reacted that by reaching at her nose, she had crushed fake blood capsules but neither Karkat nor Dave spoke about it, the atmosphere of the scene wasn’t something they were willing to interrupt. They watched in rapt as John Travolta drove to his friend’s house, needing to get the adrenaline shot into Mia Wallace’s heart, Karkat hadn’t been taught about piercing any breastplates in the basic first-aid course he had to take so he couldn’t comment on it, but a wild-haired, bloody faced Uma Thurman didn’t stop Karkat and Dave from smiling when she answered “Something” to “Say something”, their thoughts were sounded out on-screen and Karkat let out a little laugh at “That was some trippy shit”

The abrupt change back to Bruce Willis and his life was odd but Karkat was still interested in what would happen to him after openly defying Marcellus Wallace, who most definitely did not look like a bitch, he went back to his house where he left his father’s watch. It was weird how Butch put some pop tarts into the toaster even though he knew he was being hunted by a crime boss and weirder when Butch picked up the machine pistol by the sink. Dave was making snide jokes about what kind of gangster would be so stupid as to leave their gun lying around when they heard a flush go on in the background and it switched to Bruce Willis catching John Travolta with his pants down, metaphorically. While there weren’t any real jokes leading up to this scene, Karkat found himself smiling at Dave’s laughs when the toaster went off, making Butch accidentally shoot down Vincent.

It was weird how someone who seemed so central would just be killed off so quickly but this was clarified when Dave explained that the short stories weren’t in chronological order. By the end of the film, Karkat could see each individual jigsaw piece that made the story in Pulp Fiction but it really took someone special to put it all together and make it a great movie. Admittedly, having Dave to repeatedly talk over the movie kept it more light-hearted and the “I shot Marvin” scene was morbidly hilarious, none of them able to explain the massive shower of blood. John’s dad had come home during the movie and John had gone off to order pizza, doing his best to play a good host and not disturb his guests, Jade had giggled occasionally but it seemed that she seemed to take the movie very seriously, visibly disturbed by the themes.

Karkat found himself leaning into Dave as the afternoon went and the evening came, the air getting slightly more chilly and Dave had wrapped his arm around the sofa, fingers brushing Karkat’s shoulder. Dave lifted his arm when Karkat yawned and stretched, working out a kink in his neck before standing up to stretch his legs as well. Once Karkat stood up and looked over to the other side of the couch, he saw that Rose and Kanaya had never returned “Dave, where did they go?” “Huh, who?” “What do you mean who? Weren’t Kanaya and Rose sitting right there” “I don’t know, I was watching the movie, hell if I know where they are” Jade leant backwards, showing them the message she had received from Rose.

TT: We may be unavailable for the rest of the movie, I am confident you will have fun watching it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just watched Pulp Fiction today so I chose it because it’s still kinda sorta fresh in my thinkpan  
> Ramblings about me- Exam weeks are coming up in the next few weeks so I might not update as regularly or not at all, I’m sure there will always be better DaveKat fics you can read while you wait for my shitty one  
> Fanfic recommendations- Now, for one shorter than the usual ones, we got Growing Pains which is DaveKat and has a very interesting take on troll pupation, troll biology and troll psychology in general.  
> Songs- Daft Punk Medley (Pentatonix), How You Remind Me (Nickelback)  
> grimBleeper 15.08.15


	14. Pull Up, Up And Away

Rose looked up from the park bench, head leaned against Kanaya’s shoulder while Kanaya’s arm was wrapped around her. They had gone past the boys and Jade in the living room, they were too engrossed with their movie to notice them, it was no wonder that they had been able to sneak out. The walk to the park hadn’t been long, just five minutes away from John’s house, in today’s day and age, not many went to parks, the modern family preferring to stay indoors with their technology but that was what made the public space so beautiful. Not per se the equipment lying around, the archaic gear so very rarely used but it was the peace and quiet, how they could sit back and watch the sky, the afternoon was warm even in winter and the clouds were nowhere to be seen at this time of day.

A mother was playing with two small children, one on the monkey bars, doing her best to get to the next one while the mother caught her every time she fell and lifted her back up to the first bar, encouraging her to keep going. The mother was simultaneously watching the other daughter, climbing around the slide, refusing to take the conventional steps or ladders, it was a wondrous thing to behold, people just enjoying life and they just seemed to be having so much fun. Rose had rarely played at any park or jungle gym, preferring her books, she had heard of, read of and seen others but she could never appreciate the appeal, it seemed to be just like reading was to her, doing what people loved.

However, what she loved right now wasn’t any book or epic story but Kanaya, she was warm against her, the arm around her neck comforting her, she wriggled her head, trying to burrow deeper into Kanaya’s shoulder. To Kanaya, it wasn’t weird that she had to do this, intimacy wasn’t unfamiliar, she had had to comfort Porrim and Karkat in her past but that had been different, Porrim had gone through a breakup and she had wept as she tried to explain her grief. It was the one time Kanaya had ever seen Porrim anything but stable, her makeup was in disarray, the perfectly done up mask broken, it had taught Kanaya self-control, she had learnt to master her emotions and be the one that people came to.

The other had been Karkat when his relationship with Terezi was slowly falling apart, they had begun as friends, joking with each other and one day they had fallen asleep next to one another while watching a movie, they had woken up and the very next day people just assumed they were dating. They had been an oddly perfect couple, Karkat only ever being openly happy when around Terezi, she had brought out his more emotional and vulnerable side and she had been the only one to recognise it, well, apart from Kanaya. They slowly went back to being friends, though they were never officially together, it had still hurt Karkat when he realised that they weren’t, he had believed it with all his heart but Terezi was still a friend, even if she was the one he hung around the most.

Kanaya had had to take care of him, stroking his hair as he sobbed against her shoulder, it wasn’t anyone’s fault and Kanaya had made sure to hammer in that point lest he direct his anger at Terezi, the girl didn’t deserve it. Karkat had emerged unbroken and his friendship with Terezi never changed even though behind her back, he still cried at what could have been, the attraction had been dangerous but Terezi wasn’t at fault that she couldn’t see how Karkat acted. From what Kanaya could tell, Karkat hadn’t spoken to Terezi ever since he left their old schools, whether this was out of the need to erase previous ties or just simple inconvenience, it was best not to ask.

This type of intimacy however was interesting to say the least, this was what attaining love was like, not familial love where it was all about caring for them and protecting them and not like her hopeless crush on Vriska where it was seeking something that always flittered away from her, this was a warmth that she had to share with Rose. She let Rose rest deeper on her shoulder, against her neck and she leaned her head down on top of Rose’s, pressing her lips to Rose’s hair. Holding Rose felt right, nothing to disturb her focus, she could just give Rose all her attention, when the minutes passed and the family left, she still held her, going on into the evening. There really wasn’t anything Kanaya would have rather done at the time, some clouds had drifted into sight but those were inconsequential, the sky reddened abruptly as time ticked by and they watched the sunset, the glowing orb descending in stark contrast with the maroon sky.

Though Rose was warm against her, the evening threatened them with the cold and she nudged the sleeping Rose, Rose stirred, murmuring against her neck “Rose, wake up, it is getting late and I believe it would be wiser to continue this back at John’s house” “Mmmm, yeah, ok, let’s go” Rose leaned on her as they went back up the footpath to John’s house, the streetlights having turned on as the light fled from their immediate surroundings, they slipped back in the door and settled on their side of the sofa. The others had stared at them the moment they returned, while Rose had sent a message to Jade, evidently, the others had had no idea where they went. Jade was the first to break the silence “See, they’re fine, you guys need to chill out, it’s not like they were in any danger”

“Yeah right, Harley, they could’ve been anywhere, how the fuck did you two even get out without us noticing you?” “Karkat, you would have seen us exit if your eyes had not been proverbially glued to the screen, we left not long after you returned to the living room” Though it was weird to Karkat that he didn’t detect them leaving, it was a completely plausible explanation “Fine, whatever, welcome back” “Thank you, Karkat, I take it that you enjoyed the movie?” “Yeah it was pretty good” “It is getting late, should we be preparing for dinner?” “John’s gone to order, you guys ok with pizza?” Jade piped up “That will be fine, thank you” “You’re welcome!” John called from the hallway as he returned “What do you guys want to do next?”

“It’s a fucking movie night, asshole, you two already picked yours’, now it’s my turn” Karkat grabbed his bag from behind the couch, taking out a sleeve with a DVD in it, he didn’t know how others would react to it but nothing could go wrong with Titanic, right?

Wrong, while Karkat had never gotten sick of Titanic, the others, not including the silent Kanaya and the sleeping Rose, had seen it plenty of times, from in class to past movie nights. John had watched it many times and though he found it a good movie, he could practically recite every line, it was already etched into his brain and he knew that he wouldn’t gain much entertainment from such a film. While the same could be said of Jade, Dave was on the other hand, the chessiness was unbearable, the movie having become the cliché and every line just sounding old, he couldn’t even put any effort behind his commentary, making snide and sarcastic comments instead of his usual brand of mocking humour.

While he hadn’t expected Karkat to pick a romcom, why the fuck did he pick this, admittedly he had fallen silent at the scene on the bow of the ship but his annoyance and hatred faded away when he heard the sniffling coming from his right. He turned his head to see Karkat leaning against him with tears in his eyes, Karkat reached around him to grab at the tissue box and blow his nose, damn, was it hard to leave him like that. Karkat Vantas, big heart in a small package and secret romcom nerd was fucking crying against his shoulder at fucking Titanic, while a number of scenarios blazed through his head, playing out at high speed, Dave found himself holding Karkat, squeezing his shoulder lightly as Karkat wept silently.

When the movie ended and the credits rolled, Dave silently beckoned John over, John bent down while Dave whispered “You mind if I take him somewhere private to sort this out?” “Sure, use my room, we’ll make sure not to bother you” John pointed at the stairs as Dave nodded his thanks. He squeezed slightly harder on Karkat’s shoulder “Hey man, you wanna go somewhere to talk about this?” Karkat blew his nose before nodding and letting Dave lead him upstairs. John didn’t mind how this went, while Dave was his best friend, it was also good to know that Dave had someone to care about, emotions were hard and even he knew it though some thought he didn’t because of his bubbly exterior.

Dave and Karkat sat down on John’s bed and Dave pulled Karkat in, hugging him tightly “Shh, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Karkat left his arms at his side, in shock that Dave was doing this to him, “No, nothing” “We cool?” “Yeah, whatever, why’re we up here?” “You seemed kinda emotional so I thought it would be better if we could talk about it up here instead of down there with all of the others. Fuck. I’ll go first ‘kay?” “Ok” “So I’ve been thinking for a while, about you I guess, not all the time when I can just talk to someone and spill all my emotions out, I guess I like you and I was kinda wondering how you felt about that” Karkat was taken aback by this, sniffling though the tears had stopped.

“What?” “I’m asking you if you like me like how I like you, it’s cool if you don’t” “No, no, I like you, what got you to draw that conclusion?” “Just how we spoke, you weren’t afraid to voice your opinion, to let your anger out and I kinda liked that, just how open you were and how honest you were” “So that whole time where you stopped being a pretentious asshole around me, that was you liking me?” “Yeah, in case you haven’t noticed, that doesn’t happen around everybody” “Fuck, what the hell, ok, so we like each other, does this change anything? What do we do? Fucking hell, I pretty much just fucking met you!”

Dave put a finger over Karkat’s lips, silencing him before cupping his jaw and bringing him in so that their lips met, Karkat’s eyes widened slightly at the sudden movement before leaning in further and closing them. Dave’s other arm went around Karkat’s chest, hand reaching the small of Karkat’s back and rubbing lightly, Karkat had brought his arms under Dave’s and rested on his lower back. It didn’t take long before they parted only for Dave to push forward, lying Karkat out on his back, head propped up against the pillows, Dave started working down his jaw, peppering Karkat’s jawline with small kisses down to his neck and then back up again.

The increasing tent in his pants was becoming much harder to ignore as Dave lay on top of Karkat, their crotches rubbing slightly as Dave rose again. “Y’know, I’ve really thought about this” Karkat only whimpered and tightened his hold on Dave’s back, nails digging into the base of his spine through the shirt. “You’re getting a bit worked up, mind telling me what’s on your mind?” “How about fuck you and we’re flipping over?” Dave smiled as he released Karkat and took of his sunglasses, putting them on the bedside table before pulling Karkat over him as he went down. “Your choice” Dave didn’t even get to finish Karkat’s name before Karkat descended upon him, kissing him again.

Karkat held onto Dave’s mouth, barely moving, content with just being near him and being able to smell him when Dave’s hips bucked, drawing a moan from Karkat. At this rate, Dave almost expected Jade to burst in and interfere with them but to his surprise, he couldn’t hear anyone outside, he could see Karkat covering his mouth to muffle himself and his vision dimmed when Karkat started nibbling at his neck, biting and sucking at it. Fuck, this wasn’t going to work out here “Karkat, you mind slowing down, just a bit” He felt Karkat nodding against his chin and Karkat slid back up his body, going back to just kissing.

Soon, they had stopped completely as Karkat lay next to Dave, Dave turned over to Karkat, wrapping an arm around his waist and nudging Karkat’s ear with his nose. Karkat rested his hand on Dave’s as Dave held him, Dave was warm against his back and Karkat would have fallen asleep then and there if he had not remembered that this was someone else’s home. “We’re going to have to get up soon, pizza’s coming in a few according to how damn fast they usually are and they’re pretty decent” “You do this much, Strider? Take a guy up to his friend’s bedroom, make out, then talk about pizzas?” “You found out my plan, shit, don’t tell all the ladies ‘bout my charm, otherwise I’m going to have to come up with actual pickup lines” “You’re a fucking dork” “Yeah, but I’m the dork who’s this close to touching you more than some of the others would tolerate” “Good thing I’m not others” Dave kissed his neck “Damn straight, you’re not”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ramblings about me- I’m terrible with faces, I’m pretty sure I confused Brett for Muselk, I also didn’t notice that the guy who plays Marcellus Wallace was also in Con Air, of course, in my very young childhood, when I didn’t wear contact lenses, I would pretty much be stumbling around blind at the pool without any family members around me, I might go watch Face/Off some time, bluh, procrastination  
> Fanfic Recommendations- Light in the Void, I don’t care how it goes but Equius <3 Vriska or Equius Vriska or even Equius <3


	15. Dave, Deal With It, Rose, Let's Get This Party Started

The doorbell rang, shaking Dave from his trance, he had lifted his arms to wrap around Karkat’s shoulders in the time that they had lay there unmoving. He unravelled his arms, raising his head slightly to whisper in Karkat’s ear “Hey, dinner’s here, don’t wanna be late down there or the others are going to take it all” Karkat only murmured from where his face was burrowed into the pillow “I’ll come down soon, save some for me” Dave stroked the back of Karkat’s neck before sitting up “Sure thing, babe” Babe, huh? It was kinda weird for Dave to refer to him as that but it felt kinda comfortable, he guessed.

Dave ran his hands through his hair, making sure that each strand was in the same general direction before patting down his shirt and pants, just in case the others suspected him of doing anything past a comforting hug. Rose only leant against the side of the stairwell, eyebrows having gone into overdrive, wiggling up and down. While this suggestive gesture irritated him to no end, he bumped Rose’s fist when she offered it to him. “You might want to touch up your hair a bit before you join us, it appears to have deviated slightly from its usual formation” Dave’s hand instantly went to his hair, running his fingers through it and pushing down most of the stray ones.

“How does it look now?” “Less post-coital and more messy, it’ll do” “Cool” Dave slipped past Rose and into the living room where Jade and John had curled up in front of the TV watching some show about superheroes, Kanaya was sitting in the back, focusing on finishing her pizza and lesson the unfolding action. Dave snagged the closest two pizza boxes before heading back the way he came, while John hadn’t seen him, Jade had and she pushed John in the shoulder. As Dave rounded the corner, John called out “Fine Dave, don’t eat with us, just don’t eat on my bed, ok?” “Don’t worry, man, gonna keep it clean” “Knowing him, he probably won’t” said Rose as she settled down next to Kanaya.

“Hey man, eat up, don’t want it going cold” “I thought I fucking told you I would be down in a second?” “Yeah, I didn’t listen” Karkat snatched one of the boxes before opening it, he didn’t get a chance to see what was inside because Dave swatted his hand “No eating on John’s bed” “And we’re allowed to conduct sloppy make outs on it? Asshole needs to get his standards straight” Dave shrugged but moved to sit down on the ground before opening his box. Karkat reluctantly followed him, sitting cross-legged from across Dave, back leaning against the bed, it wasn’t long before the silence became unbearable and Karkat went back downstairs to get his laptop.

Once Karkat went back upstairs, Rose snickered at Karkat’s appearance “At least Dave had some sensibility about what he looked like” “Hush, Rose, what they do is none of our business, though it is very amusing” Neither of them were really focusing on dinner or the TV, having just been quietly talking “It is most definitely our business, what do you think they were doing up there” “I’d prefer not to say what is on my mind in polite company” Rose pushed herself up to kiss Kanaya’s cheek “How about we change that then” she whispered before kissing the skin under Kanaya’s ear. “It is still early in the evening though, the night is still young” “Then that only gives us more time to mess around, come on.”

“Lead on then, Rose” Rose held onto Kanaya’s hand as she stood up, taking her up with her and walking out of the living room and over to Jade’s room, typing on her phone with the other.

TT: I hope that you do not mind if Kanaya and I use your room for some of our shenanigans

GG: Haha, what are you guys doing? :)

TT: Unfortunately, I cannot reveal that, I trust you understand the implications?

GG: Yeah, yeah, have fun ;)

Rose tucked the phone away before leading Kanaya into Jade’s room “Did you notice anything about Dave when he walked in?” “I believe his hair had devolved from bird to bird’s nest, so yes” “Haha, it’s really not like him to leave it so untamed” “All I can hope to do is wish Karkat the best of luck, next time I see him” “Are you going to ask him about everything?” “Undoubtedly” Rose giggled at this before wrapping her arms around Kanaya’s shoulders and pressing herself fully against Kanaya, trapping her between Rose and the wall. Kanaya shifted slightly to accommodate Rose’s full body weight before letting her arms fall to Rose’s waist, hands clasped behind Rose’s back.

When Rose pushed further, tilting her head upwards, Kanaya’s hands dropped to Rose’s thighs, not gripping them but just holding them there, she let them wander up Rose’s body, wrapping around her chest and feeling the tensed muscles there. She pressed her fingers into Rose and dragged them down, eliciting a muffled moan into Kanaya’s mouth, she carried on, sliding her hands down her waist, then her hips before letting them hang on Rose’s thighs again. Rose opened her eyes at this, looking straight into Kanaya’s “I think we should move this to the bed” “That would be agreeable” and grabbed onto Kanaya’s hands again before pulling her over to Jade’s bed.

While the sheets were colourful, it wasn’t like they were going to spend much time looking at them, anyways, Rose maintained eye contact with Kanaya the whole time as she lay on her back and Kanaya lay over her. Kanaya went straight to Rose’s neck, licking and sucking near the base of it so not to leave any marks visible to the others, Rose arched her head back, pushing her neck upwards and Kanaya rolled to the side and wrapped her leg around Rose’s waist. She moved up Rose’s neck, leaving very light bites and kisses all the way up until she went around Rose’s jaw and up to her earlobe, softly nibbling it.

Rose moaned again before her fingernails dug into Kanaya’s back, Kanaya let her hands wander again, tracing the outline of Rose’s body before letting her fingers press harder on the inside of Rose’s thighs. “It may be too late to ask this, but how far are we willing to go?” Rose hummed at the sensation of Kanaya speaking so closely “I-I think it’ll be fine as long as we go too far” Rose’s voice was fairly strained at this point and Kanaya moved the leg wrapped around Rose’s in between them instead “Tell me when it gets too far” she whispered before slowly sliding her leg upwards towards Rose’s crotch, making sure she did it as slowly as possible to give Rose an opportunity to speak.

“Aaaaaah” Rose’s vision slowly whited out as the friction increased, she let her fingers dig deeper into Kanaya’s back only for Kanaya to murmur assurances into her ear, voice level and serene even as Rose got more and more worked up. “You may like to know that I’m just fine the way we are right now” Kanaya whispered, still moving her leg inwards “No, please go on” “As you wish” and Kanaya bucked her hips lightly but just enough so that she could feel the wetness in Rose’s underwear. “Fuuuck” Kanaya smiled at this reaction, the succinctness of the response odd in comparison to Rose’s usual eloquence “You appear to be losing your calm demeanour, Rose”

“It-it’s fine, don’t stop” Kanaya rolled her hips into Rose, letting her thigh brush against Rose’s crotch before relaxing her hips, Rose clung against Kanaya, chest firmly pressed against her. She wouldn’t be able to control herself if this went on for too long so Kanaya withdrew her leg before kissing Rose’s forehead “We may continue this later, I hardly think that this time is appropriate” Rose could only still whimper so Kanaya kept her lips pressed against Rose’s forehead and hold her “If you wouldn’t mind, we need to calm you down before we go out in front of the others again” Rose nipped at Kanaya’s exposed collarbones as Kanaya sighed at the feeling.

“I do believe that this action is in direct contrast to the plan of calming down” Kanaya felt her face go red and heated, it wouldn’t take too much for Rose to bring her up to her level. Rose pushed on, letting her tongue run along the part where her mouth was over and simultaneously moved her hand from around Kanaya’s chest to between Kanaya’s legs, fingers pressing into Kanaya’s underpants. She pushed Kanaya’s dress up before slipping two fingers against Kanaya’s vagina, slowly massaging it. “This is most definitely not calming me down, Rose” Though Kanaya meant it as a warning, Rose took it as encouragement.

Kanaya panted as Rose continued rubbing, breathing heavily into Rose’s hair, Rose let her other hand drop to her vagina, sliding her fingers around her own underwear and rubbing them against her clit in slow circles. “When do you think we’ll get another opportunity like this?” Rose purred into Kanaya’s chest, taking her mouth of Kanaya’s collarbone and shifting her body downward until she faced Kanaya’s chest. “If we are to do this, I suggest you allow me to retrieve my spare clothes or let me take mine off, I do not wish to sully my apparel” Kanaya huffed “So fussy about your clothing? I won’t stop you though”

“One must always be wary of their apparel and i still have a modicum of control over my conscious thought, Rose” Rose looked up at Kanaya, pouting slightly “Are you trying to accuse me of lacking self-control?” she pressed her fingers deeper into Kanaya’s vagina, emphasising each word. Kanaya did her best to appear stoic as she sat up, taking Rose with her as well, she kissed Rose on the lips before slipping aside and patting down her dress and hair “Maybe I am, but maybe you need me to control you for you, wait here, I will be back momentarily” Kanaya glided out of the room, still trying to appear like she usually did, confident and stable, no weakness was to be shown.

Her bag was by the door and luckily there was no one around, Jade and John appeared to be preoccupied with something on the TV, Kanaya wasn’t sure what but she was glad that they were. When she got back to Jade’s room, Rose had already stripped down to a bra and underwear, sitting on the bed, waiting for her. She stood up as Kanaya entered and wrapped her arms around Kanaya to unzip the dress, she let it fall to the floor before kissing Rose again, Rose was determined to finish what she had started and held onto Kanaya’s ass as she took Kanaya back to the bed, kissing fervently.

“Door” Kanaya whispered as she untangled herself from Rose and quickly slipped to the other side of the bed to shut the door before darting back just as quickly to resume their activities. “You need controlling Rose and I will be right here for that” Kanaya whispered, she let herself drop down so that her mouth was over Rose’s breast, opening her mouth slightly to start nipping and sucking on the nipple, swivelling her tongue as she did so. Rose raised her hand to her mouth, biting lightly on it to stop herself from screaming out loud. “Good to see you at least making an effort” Kanaya said, voice muffled by the fabric and the flesh.

Rose pushed herself up on her elbows before running her hands through Kanaya’s hair, pressing Kanaya’s face harder into her chest, she scratched near the base of Kanaya’s neck, letting her nails turn the flesh white from pressure. “Mm, keep going” Rose gasped, her thighs tightening around Kanaya’s waist, Kanaya lifted one arm to caress Rose’s face, stroking down it as she kept sucking, she kept her other arm on the bed though, making sure she didn’t fall straight on Rose by balancing on that forearm. Kanaya let her legs fall down, feeling her waist descend onto Rose’s crotch, she traced her hand down from Rose’s face to her back, fingers working to undo the clasp on the bra.

Rose made no motion to stop her, now running her hands through Kanaya’s hair, head tilted back and panting, she was ready to climax but she didn’t want this to end. Kanaya felt Rose trying to keep pushing her and she pushed herself off Rose, running her hands down Rose’s arms to get her to lie back down, she went back to just kissing as Rose whined and whimpered, unable to get the gratification she so craved. “Please Kanaya, I’m ready” Kanaya let another light kiss fall on Rose’s lips “We shall continue this next time, we do not have to rush this” as Kanaya got back up to put her clothes back on, Rose still tried to hold onto Kanaya’s hand but Kanaya lightly slid them off, patting them as she let them fell.

Kanaya put her dress back on and checked herself in the wardrobe mirror, making sure that she looked, at least, no different from when she entered, Rose had sat up by now, watching Kanaya move, only now did she really appreciate how form fitting the dress was, did the others? Now that was an interesting question, she continued looking on as Kanaya got out a hairbrush. Rose picked up her discarded garments from beside the bed and started haphazardly putting them on, suddenly self-conscious in the presence of Kanaya, Kanaya knelt behind Rose and started brushing her hair, keeping down all the stray strands. Rose closed her eyes as she tried to sit as still as possible, when Kanaya had finished, she knelt forward to place a kiss on top of Rose’s head before putting away the hairbrush. “We should probably discuss how we want to move on”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ramblings about me- If I had to pick an animal motif or theme it would probably be snake (as seen in my quirk) even though snakes don’t have six eyes, I mean I could do spider but that doesn’t fit me as well as it fits Vriska.   
> Fanfic recommendations- So damned 100d how did someone write something like Poise And Posturing Amongst Rivals? It’s a spin-off fic for Herding Cats and it is … very 100d, I don’t know anymore, I have … other things to do???  
> Songs- I Hate Everything About You (Three Days Grace), Whispers In The Dark (Skillet), Elements (Lindsey Stirling), The Ballad Of Mona Lisa (Panic! At The Disco)   
> grimBleeper 20.8.15


	16. Bro, Mechanise

While Rose’s face was still tinged with red from exertion, she did her level best to remain composed “I do enjoy our current arrangement, the way we have an agent on the outside but we keep it to ourselves, well, at least John hasn’t noticed” “Oh my, so you are seeking that type of relationship, no open displays of affection? No calling me darling in front of the others? So professional” Kanaya let the corners of her mouth curve upwards “In all seriousness though, do you think it wise to officially tell the others?” “I have no issue with this, Jade already knows, Dave suspects, soon enough they will find out” “Then how about we turn this into a game?” “I am listening” “We see who goes first, Dave and Karkat or us”  
“That, is an interesting proposition, Karkat and Dave are upstairs as we speak, how do you believe they are doing, conversing like how they do or “conversing” like us” “Judging from Dave’s dishevelled hair, I believe it would be the latter, his lack of subtlety might just contribute to his charm” “While I have yet to see this purported charm, I can see how he fits with Karkat, it is good that they bring each other out so much.” From what Kanaya had seen, Karkat tended to do well one on one with people who were less openly antagonistic and more open armed to the unfamiliar, Kanaya couldn’t really understand how having a friendship with someone like Sollux could get as far as it could, they just snarked at and insulted each other, it was a miracle that Karkat hadn’t bitten off Sollux’s head yet.  
Likewise with Terezi, Kanaya hadn’t seen Karkat’s private time with her but from what Karkat had told her, they talked well enough, they had just started talking less and Karkat had gotten more depressed when he wasn’t around anyone. “I would also like Dave to just be happy and it seems like I’ll get that wish, I’m feeling a bit more relaxed now, do you want to go back out and see what John and Jade are doing?” “That would be agreeable” as Rose stood, Kanaya patted down Rose’s dress, making sure to smooth out as many of the creases as she could, she stood back for a bit before leaning down to kiss Rose once more “There, now we can go”  
Earlier that day, when Bro had finished dropping off Rose and Kanaya, he had gone straight home to prepare for his “date”, he definitely didn’t have any idea how people dated these days but he had come to a consensus with Equius, take him out to dinner at a good restaurant, what Equius had chosen, and then go to one of the clubs that Dirk had helped put on the map. From the times they had spoken, Equius sounded very withdrawn from society, which made two of them, and asocial, it would be interesting to see how he reacted in the presence of others, it would help them know each other a bit more, certainly. Bro hummed and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he turned into the garage of the apartment building, checking that the van wasn’t scratched before parking it in a corner.  
He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, not that anyone would have seen him, to his apartment where he had already laid out a leather jacket, collared shirt and a pair of grey dress pants, he still had a few hours until this “date” but he preferred to go over every detail, well, he also had to account for how long his shower would take. Normally, Bro would have gone to one of the units on the lower floors of the building on a day like this, he would either produce material for his websites or he would work out, today wasn’t normal though and even as he thought about this, he chastised himself for standing still. Bro strolled over to the bathroom, it was kinda interesting not having to fight anyone for it, and he almost felt sorry for the Egbert household, almost.  
He got out of the shower after 20 minutes, he grabbed a towel by the side of the stall before wiping down his face and putting back on his sunglasses, he then hunched over the sink with the towel wrapped around his muscular shoulders. Bro wiped the condensation away from the glass, trying to get a good view of his hair so that he could style it, this proved fruitless however, as it steamed up against almost instantaneously. Whatever, it’s not like his hair really looked any different ever anyways, he rubbed his hands through the pale blonde hair as he turned on the hair dryer, making sure it didn’t dry until everything separated into individual strands. Running his hand through his hair one last time, he made sure that nothing was excessively wet or hot before going back to his room to put his clothes on.  
It was weird being able to just relax and be alone, he ignored the clothes set out as he lay on his back on the bed, staring out the window at the skyline and then towards the ceiling, was he going to be overdressed or underdressed, how did Equius expect him to behave, Equius was kinda stiffly formal usually, was this how he acted in person? Ugh, so many questions, so little time, Bro swung himself up and off the bed before pulling on his clothing, he still had plenty of time so he tugged down the trapdoor before jumping up and pulling himself in. There was a little thing he had been working on for Equius to make communication simpler and though it wasn’t done yet, it was ridiculously promising.  
It used some of the tech back from his university days but it was by no means outdated, if anything, it would be revolutionary if the world knew anything about it. To his knowledge, he had created the first human brain to machine interface, it had started as something he had been messing around with when he had started a foray into mechanical prosthetics but what he found was something completely different. It wasn’t something which extended consciousness, it was more like, duplicating or fabricating a completely new personality. Though this was a failure for what he intended it to be, he had finally found a use for it after so many years of inactivity.  
Next to a robot duplicate of himself, Bro had a computer hooked up to it, most of his research and developments had been saved onto it and while the robot was good, it was just a robot, nothing especially unique. The programming he was bringing back however, was the same intelligence he had created in his youth, it was a perfect replica of his mind at 20 years old, same memories, same knowledge, same personality. He had discussed parts of this project with a wide range of people, other software engineers, philosophers, psychologists, programmers, they never had a clue about his true intents but were eager to answer him.  
He wanted to upload that consciousness into the robot, it wasn’t something that he exactly had a reason for, his line of reasoning had been more on the lines of “Hey, this sounds cool, yeah, let’s do this, no reason not to, right?” and it was finally coming to fruition. All he hoped was that his 20 year old self was going to be cooperative, it was weird thinking of it as his 20 year old self but it was exactly that, it had never changed to become Bro, it had never evolved, it was a snapshot of who he once was. The files weren’t large and they wouldn’t take long to open, the cursor hovered over the file as Bro turned to look at the robot, it looked like how he now was but that wouldn’t be a problem.  
“Hello, Dirk” the voice coming from the computer was odd, it wasn’t as deep as Bro’s was now but it was almost uncanny how little it differed “Yeah, ‘sup” “It has been 15 years, 2 months and 3 days since you have last activated me, what happened?” “Nothin’ much, thought to bring you out for a spin, shit’s changed over the years and I got a pretty cool idea of what to do with you.” “I can see the robot connected to this terminal, the diagrams on this computer suggest that you intend to transfer me into it, can I ask why?” “No real reason, just woke up one day and boom, this could be cool” “I see we have not truly matured over the ages, we’re not the fine cheese” “Nah man, we’re probably the shitty cheddar that’s mass produced”  
“I see that we have at least not declined in our technological skills, riddle me this, how goes our sex life?” Bro flinched at this, he knew that he had been an annoying shit back then, but seriously, this is what he went to straight after waking up? “Was I always that bad, I didn’t care that much about relationships back then” “You can lie to yourself Dirk, but you can’t lie to me” “First of all, how about you can go fuck yourself, second of all I have a date today as a matter of fact, how about that?” “While that is not unexpected, I was under the impression that you were with Roxy at the time” “I kept a journal, you can go find that while I mess around with the other thing”  
“My condolences, would you like a hot beverage?” “And how would you make such a thing, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re still stuck in my computer” “Yes, but once you transfer me into that damn sweet chassis, I can probably make you a hot chocolate, you know we love those” “I don’t believe it, my past self is trying to bribe me into giving him a body, you should be ashamed of yourself, you know that?” “You never were, why the hell would I be” “Touché” Bro hunched over a pair of sunglasses, the plastics had been reinforced with metal so that it would be much more durable and the inside was a type of screen.  
“What’s this? I can see it listed underneath projects and while I understand those are good looking shades and better looking technology, I’m kinda baffled at why they’re not sharp” “Not for me” “For who then?” robot Dirk hadn’t flapped its metaphorical gums in what felt like ages and it was interesting getting to know someone who seemed so familiar but he knew to be completely different. “Person who I’m going out on a date with” “Mhm, finished looking through your journal, so it’s this Equius dude?” “Yeah” “What happened to Roxy?” a muscle in Bro’s jaw tightened at the mention of her name.  
“She’s doing fine, overseas for the moment” “What the hell happened? Last time I was here, you were single and Roxy was trying to drag you to every club you had,  we used to be best fucking friends and here it says that you guys got married and then divorced? What. The. Fuck.” Bro took of his shades to rub at the bridge of his nose “How about you fucking read the journal first before asking me any more stupid questions” “So this is what it is now? Your wife is a, as you say, stupid question?” “You see the answer’s really simple, it’s basically SHUT THE FUCK UP, ok?” robot Dirk went silent as it went through the calculations, drawing the events in the journal into a timeline.  
A monitor flashed to the side of Bro’s head, Photoshop opened as robot Dirk started mapping out the journal, the webs of people mentioned, who had fallen out of their lives as time went on, while Bro was pissed, he had never thought about looking over his past so he begrudgingly tilted his head. Little images were linked to each name, each little event, it was stupid, it was inane but Bro kept watching as he looked at his whole life unfold in front of him “So what, you’ve now finally caught up, congratu-fucking-lations” he growled “What else do you want from me?” “You may have become to jaded, too much of an asshole to admit we’re both assholes, but we need to be able to talk about this, you said you were going of a fucking date of all things, how do you think he’s going to react when you can’t even talk to yourself?”  
Bro was at a loss for words, he was this close to punching the screen but his past self did have a point, he had fucked himself over, in his every recording, it wasn’t anyone else trying to hurt him, he had just somehow distanced himself from everyone. “Fine, I’m a complete and total piece of shit, you got me, I fucking admitted it, now what? Shit just doesn’t go back to being fine, I’ll deal with it” “Your way? You just saw what happens when you try, you’re gonna do this my way, our old way and you’re going to be a better person,  I would say I’m disgusted at what we’ve become but that would be an understatement” “Heh, like saying Hiroshima was pretty dangerous, huh?” “That, is completely insensitive, but yes, fucking understatement of the age. Let’s start from the beginning, your schedule says you got your date in 2 hours, tell me about everyone”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ramblings about me-For those of you wanting to know about me, it’s like this now, come on, feel free to talk to me about any problems you have, I’m usually on Trollian/Pesterchum at 15:30-20:30 on weekdays and 9:30-20:30 on weekends, if you have anything you want to talk about anonymously or if you want to just talk about your problems, I’m happy to listen, I see myself as highly empathic though I have trouble expressing it (all times are in Australian Eastern Standard Time)  
> Fanfic recommendations- Woop woop, Don’t Point That Finger At Me Unless You Intend To Use It, fantastic writing and characterisation, another BroJohn fanfic and as it says in the description “no instant “in lust” sex, must be built up as they actually learn about each other” whoops, that’s something I f**ked up on  
> Songs- The Ballad Of Mona Lisa (Panic! At The Disco), War Of Change (Thousand Foot Krutch)  
> grimBleeper 21.8.15


	17. Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that” “What do you mean more specific?” The computer emitted a noise similar to sighing “I guess I’ll make it simple for you, let’s start with who do you live with, y’know what I feel like? I feel like how we used to feel when the professor told us to stay behind to tutor someone, so whose home do we share or did you finally shut yourself away?” “Fine, be a snarky bitch” “First of all, that’s you you’re talking about and second, you still haven’t answered my question” “Right, so we’re up in the attic-“ “Creepy as always” “Shut the fuck up, we’re in the ceiling crawlspace, happy now? Me and Roxy had two children, Dave and Rose” “Such creative names” “I swear on the name of whoever created you, I will turn you off again”  
“And miss out on this? Damn, I’ll let you finish” “You have my fucking thanks, Dave and Rose are 16 and 17 respectively, Dave is pretty much the spitting image of you while Rose is an entirely different beast, she’s just snarky beyond comprehension and is all up and genuine about it, reason you’re not seeing them right now is that they’re over at John and Jade’s house” “The plot thickens, who are they?” “Jade’s a nice girl, good head on her shoulders unless she gets excited, then from what I’ve heard she goes uncontrollable, John’s a mystery bundled in a Stepford Smile covered in glasses, acts all bubbly and shit but underneath that he just tells people he doesn’t give a shit and dances around the issue and if you go further, he’s not the most stable of people” “Add that to the pile, who’s next?”  
“Hell if I know, I don’t really talk to many people these days and the kids don’t tell me every little thing about their lives” “Yeah, figures, you wanna tell me ‘bout this guy you’re going out with later?” “Nah, I’ll give you the sitrep afterwards, you still know what the internet is?” “Yeah” “It got bigger” Bro switched back to a tab containing his business emails, he hadn’t finished the smuppets that he had started working on but there weren’t too many orders to get through. “So we finally made these sex puppets a business?” Bro narrowed his eyes at the other screen “Did you really think I was joking, yeah, sure Cal laughed it up at the time but it’s a pretty big hit amongst the people online, shit, I’m raking in more than most models”  
“Just surprised is all, didn’t really expect us to sack up, I’ve looked through a bit more of your content and not all of it is as innocent as a phallic puppet or a damn plush ass, you ever watch yourself? It’s kinda interesting is all I’m saying” “What’s so interesting about it?” “Well, the first thing is that you don’t look any different from all those years ago, second is that to anyone who isn’t hopped up on hormones, you aren’t really enjoying it, you’re a good actor and you’re good with simulating feelings but you can’t really fake an orgasm like that” “My customers agree to disagree” “Yeah, well this “customer” has had a dick up his ass in at least the past six months of his active life, unlike a certain porn star”  
“And you, being the epitome of knowledge of phalluses up the anus, are trying to give me sass about my sex life? Yeah, I get that you’re me but I was never that pretentious” “Not to other people at least, admit it, we’re both assholes” “Whatever, you’ve got free reign over what you want to do next, go on the internet, marvel at the future, I’ll get back to you when I’m finished with this” “Yeah, yeah, calm down, I can tell you’re pissed and just not showing it” Bro flipped the screen off before turning back to the smuppet, he slipped the vibrator into the nose and covered it up with the felt before quickly stitching the bottom up so that no metal or plastic could be seen.  
With the other hand, he squeezed the flaps of felt that were sticking out together and sewed it up, the smuppet was finally complete and he looked it over, making sure that every inch was properly covered and there was nothing sticking out. He flash-stepped over to a box of packing peanuts before dunking the smuppet into it, while the packing peanuts made a harsh squeaking noise as they rubbed against each other, the customers went crazy for them, that and the bubble wrap.  He closed the box and taped it over, making sure that the customer’s name and address was on it before putting it off to the side of the room where it rested against the rest of this week’s orders.  
Bro went back down to the bathroom to check his hair one more time and even though it really didn’t look any more different than what it usually did, he self-consciously tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear before turning away. He went downstairs and got into one of his more fashionable cars before driving off to meet Equius at the designated restaurant, when he got there he was surprised to see a white van remarkably similar to his, parked next to a handicap spot. He walked up to the receptionist within the restaurant “Reservation for Zahhak and Strider” “Right this way, sir” the man led Bro down the aisles where he saw plenty of stuffy people in suits, faces red from wine or jovial talking.  
It was weird being around these people, so completely different yet believing themselves to be so important, each contained within their very own little bubbles of hope. A large man with a nose not unlike a penguin sat opposite a woman half his age, the woman lay her hands on the man’s, looking deep within his eyes. The man’s eyes were those of someone deeply in love while the woman’s were those of a predator, Bro had seen those eyes at various nightclubs on people of all genders and it disgusted him every single time. This also reminded Bro why he didn’t go out more often, there were many people in the world and while some were assholes, thieves, murderers, rapists, politicians and other assorted shady folk, there were kind, genuine people, those who sought to help the fellow man instead of being a dick.  
Equius had come in a suit, having looked up the restaurant’s reputation and expected Bro to be just as formal, his eyes widened by a fraction as he saw Bro but kept his expression neutral. Bro swaggered by before double taking when he saw Equius’ long black hair, he tried to keep his cool as he swung around on his heel and took the seat opposite Equius. Equius had raised an eyebrow at Bro’s antics, mildly amused “First impressions are very important, you know?” “Yeah, sorry about that, didn’t expect you to get up all fancy and stuff” “Like I said, first impressions, might I assume our night has properly commenced” “Well, I would normally say something cheesy like the night is still young but you’ve got that covered, time’s ticking though so food’s coming, you wanna tell me more ‘bout yourself?”  
“I suppose, then how about we start with … I have no idea about the mannerisms I am to adopt in formal situations like these, though my father brought me to many an occasion similar to this in my childhood, I believe that I have forgotten the proper course of conduct” Equius put on a small smile to hide his discomfort “I have no idea, man, I’ve done some contracting and shaking hands for business and stuff but not like these fancy gatherings” Bro lounged back in his chair, one arm hitched up. “’sides, if we’re not too rowdy and disturbing the other customers, it’s not like they can really kick us out” this casualness brought a smile to Equius’ face “I suppose so, I do have certain issues when in the public eye though, these public places make me nervous to say the least”  
“Not a problem, we can go back to your place or mine once this is over, y’know, get to know each other a bit better, I’ve brought back one of my older projects and I thought I would show it to you after this anyways” “An older project, of what nature?” “The artificial persuasion, pretty much copy pasted my 20 year old self’s mind into a little program I developed and now it’s reading up on the internet as we speak” Bro grinned, proud of his accomplishment “Interesting, does anyone else know of this?” “Nah, just found it lying around” “Have you considered the philosophies of such a development?” “Why do you ask?” “You refer to the program as an it”  
Bro paused as the waiter leant down to deliver their dinner “Huh, never noticed, how do you feel I should be calling it?” he said as he cut into the steak. Equius lay the napkin over his lap “I quite enjoy philosophy and the notion of artificial intelligence is an interesting one” “You consider a copy of a past me to be artificial intelligence?” “By its very definition, no, apologies if I have offended you, what should I refer to it as?” “No idea, I asked you first” “Indeed, does it prefer to call itself anything?” Bro swallowed before answering “Yeah, taken to the name Dirk” “Does Dirk consider himself a person?” “He never really said anything about that, he knows he’s pretty much a perfect copy of a younger me and he also acknowledges the fact that he’s basically lines of code”  
It wasn’t every day that Equius got to discuss such foreign topics as these, the prospect of seeing this with his very eyes was certainly attractive “You said we would be going to see him later, I look forward to that then, would you like to talk about your earlier life? How did you spend your time when you were 20?” “Dicked around, fell in love, fell back out, played in night clubs but I wasn’t a social butterfly, pretty much DJ nerd, just less obvious about who I really was to the random people I met.” “Any university” “Yeah, out southwest, you?” “Went to the western one, got my degree in architecture and put myself out for hire” “I would’ve thought you took some STEM subject” “I considered it, but it turned out to be more of a hobby back then”  
“Any big works that I might know?” “Have you seen the bank by the Richards’ building in the city?” “Gone by it once or twice, you saying you built that thing? If so, I’m calling bull because the most that’s changed is the roof and the statues, still remember those goddamn ugly cherubs” “Did you notice the middle one?” “Awesome horse, why?” “That was my signature, I was the lead architect for the refurbishment of that bank, it put my name out there on the market and I coasted along with those contracts for the next 6 years” “Anything else I might recognise?” “One or two, most were high-rise buildings and apartment blocks, I did design a park or two in the next state over though” “Cool, what made you stop?” “Do not misunderstand me, design is a beautiful craft, but my interests were turned back to robots, let’s say a certain someone developed a very interesting machine capable of formulating slam poetry to an impressive degree”  
“I almost feel kinda bad for dragging you off your old job” “It really is not a big matter, whatever I do, it is what I love, my specialisation is in things that are mechanically and aesthetically elegant and this has earned me work in whatever I put my mind to” “Let’s see how that performance goes in bed” “Excuse me?” Equius coughed, cheeks slightly tinged “Nothing, so about those robotics, how do you fit in into our little market?” “It is not as small as you think it is, Bro, there is great demand for our products and you too could achieve greatness if you were to put yourself out there more” “I went out once, outside didn’t like me, smuppets sell well and it’s more or less stress free, like you said, doing what I love”  
“If you didn’t mind terribly, I also looked at the other sections of your website, they were quite ahem graphic” “Like what you saw?” “That is hardly appropriate conversation at such a fine establishment” Equius felt his face reddening further before covering his mouth with a napkin, pretending to wipe something off his face. “You done eating?” “Yes, I assume the bill was prepaid along with the reservation” “Yeah, let’s go over to see Dirk, how’d you get here?” “I drove” “Cool, follow me, I don’t drive slowly but call me if you get lost, pass your phone” Equius handed over the phone and unlocked it, Bro was already swiping through the menus until he had reached the contacts and was punching his number in “Y’know, your iPhone isn’t helping the thing where people say iPhones are easily broken” “I may have a small problem with glass” “I got a thing for that too, c’mon” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'sup y'all, I've got a speech tomorrow so I won't be writing too much, also I'm going to be spending the next few weeks doing preliminary exams so don't expect too much
> 
> Ramblings about me- Yes the stories I write can (will) be OOC, they sometimes fit, they sometimes don’t, in here, we’ve got a little reference to Mr Slump (you can figure out his real name), I don’t agree with him, I don’t trust him, I don’t like him, yes this is getting political, no I’m not an American citizen, you know who’s great? Bernie Sanders (ooooooh I said it), you know who else is great, Baraka Obama, but y’know who I think is the best American politician ever? Andrew Jackson, yes he did some shady shit with the native Americans, but he’s a badass, I rate him above Chuck Norris for good reason.  
> Fanfic recommendations- For something entirely different, we have Glorious Shotgun Princess from the Mass Effect/ Exalted crossover-verse, I play Exalted, I like the Mass Effect universe, this fic is amazing and hilarious and what it lacks in emotion, it makes up for it in over the top action and references  
> Songs- Starstrukk (30h!3 feat. Katy Perry), Here’s To Never Growing Up (Avril Lavigne), Beatdown (Strider Style) (Homestuck), Far Away (Nickelback)  
> grimBleeper 24.8.15

**Author's Note:**

> This took me something like 4 days to write, the crucial detail which directly affects my fanfics is that I live in Australia so I have no knowledge of what the US of A is like, I’ll try to keep some of the Australia-specific details out like location and slang and differences in school, but no guarantees for consistency ::XD.  
> The fanfic that I have chosen to highlight for this first chapter is actually two fanfics, Real Men Wear Tights and Like One Sundered Star, as of the writing of this I’m somewhere around at half of RMWT and I’ve gotten to chapter 25 of LOSS, you probably don’t need me to tell you that they’re amazing because if you had any doubts, put them aside, this stuff redefines rad, I had to spend over a month to get up to chapter 25 of LOSS and it was worth every minute.  
> I also thought of including the songs that I was listening to when I was writing this chapter and they were: Kill the Lights (the Birthday Massacre), Numb (Linkin Park), Phoenix (Fall Out Boy) and Julius Caesar vs Shaka Zulu (Epic Rap Battles of History).  
> One last thing, you can contact me at grimBleeper on Pesterchum, I hadn’t gotten far enough into Homestuck to realise that Kanaya had grim in her chumhandle but I like the name so :::P, thanks for reading :::) 22.7.15


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